Following your dreams

You have to follow your own dreams in life, not the dreams that others have for you. Denying yourself to appease others is simply a waste of a life, if you ask me.

Now, I’m not going to lie, those statements are bold, and truth be told, I’m writing this more as a reminder to myself than anyone else.

Of course, this does not mean that you should live your life with blatant disregard for others, nor does it mean that you shouldn’t go out of your way to help others – hell, I’m a big believer in helping others to make your life even more fulfilling (ahem, Jump for Diabetes)- but, to ignore your own desire and dreams to please others is a waste.

No matter what you believe, if there is or isn’t something bigger and better waiting for us on the other side, it’s important to live in the here and now, as if this is all we’ve got. And, making the most of life is about following your dreams, living your passions, knowing when to say no, following that gut feeling that, if you’re truly honest with yourself, is usually right. Sometimes, this means letting go of one thing to let in another.

Only you can make your dreams come true. Only you can look out for your best interests all the time. Only you hold the key to living the life you believe in, that life you envision for yourself.

I’ve come to find, in my life anyway, that sometimes fear gets in the way of your dreams – sometimes that fear is simply letting someone down, sometimes it’s bigger, like losing an important aspect of your life. But the truth is, you have to trust in your gut. This is something that, as skydivers, we know all too well.

Jumping out of an airplane goes against everything your body is telling you is right. Falling is not comfortable for the human brain. Think about it, how many times have you woke from a dream with a start because of a vision of falling? Can you even count? I can’t.

It’s not natural. But, those of us who choose this path know in our gut that it’s the right thing for us, even when our bodies shoot out all kinds of signals that tell us to stop, this isn’t safe, it’s not natural.

A leap of faith, some would say, knowing that our training, our skills and those around us who we choose to jump with will keep us safe.

So why then, are there moments where simply disappointing someone in our lives can be such a scary thought that we’re willing to put our own dreams, our own wants, on the back burner in order to appease those close to us? Why is it that some decisions seem so difficult even though, deep down, we know exactly what path we want to take?

Tell me I’m not alone in this – I can’t be the only person out there who struggles with the balance between following my own dreams, living out the dreams others have for me and helping to make the dreams of those in my life come true.

It’s baby steps, I guess, to making the right decisions. It may not always be exactly what I want, or exactly what those in my life want, but it’s got to be for the greater good. Following gut feelings may disappoint others from time to time, but isn’t not following them an even greater disappointment to yourself?

Love and blue skies!

Ashley

p.s. I think this song really captures some of these sentiments:

Reflecting and resolving – part 2

In an effort to keep my posts quick and easy to read, I broke up this posts into two part. Part 1 was posted yesterday, and I discussed 2011, took a look at the goals I set at the beginning of the year and where I netted out.

This year, my goals are a little more concrete – either they’ll be successes or failures. But, like this year, I have no doubt that regardless of the outcome, I’ll walk away with plenty of knowledge to reflect upon.

Let’s get onto these resolutions!

Pay off all credit card debt. This is number one on my list for a reason. I finally feel like I’m at a comfortable place to do this, and start building a savings, both for emergencies and to have enough for a down payment on a house. Hello adulthood!

Earn SCUBA certification. This is something that hubs and I have been wanting to do for quite some time. I’m pretty sure this came up within the first few weeks of us dating, as something we both want to accomplish in the near future.

Add to and continue selling prints on my Etsy shop. I’m proud to say that I launched my Etsy shop during the holidays and you can now purchase prints, matted and framed or on canvas right here. This year I intend to make great progress with my photography and editing skills so I can keep my shop fresh.

Recommit to yoga and meditation. Health and fitness has always been important to me, but in the recent past I’ve been slipping. I’ve begun a running routine that I plan to stick with, but on my off days, I’m planning to get back into yoga. It just makes me happier. It also helps that my amazing husband bought me yoga paws as a stocking stuffer this year, so I have no excuse, even when I’m on the road.

Teach my dog how to run with me. This is the main reason that I started running again. I’d like to be able to take the dog out a few times a week after work and run her. I tried when we first got her, but now that she’s more obedient I definitely want to get this routine started – it’ll be good for her and me.

Get some tunnel time. This one speaks for itself. I normally don’t like to put goals around my skydiving, as it’s my leisure activity, but a I consider “tunnel time” to be a bit vague. It’s about time I sync up with a coach and get on my head.

Volunteer. Yes, I already coordinate Jump for Diabetes at Skydive Chicago each year (p.s., if you haven’t heard it’s on 4th of July weekend this year), but I want to do more. I’ve always had the desire to help out at a food bank or serve dinner at a soup kitchen during the holidays. Ideally, I’d like to commit to 1 act of volunteerism a month. I think I’m up to that challenge!

So those are my 7 resolutions for the year. Next year at this time, hopefully I can paste this list into a new blog post with success written after each.

What are your goals, commitments and resolutions for 2012?

Cheers!

Ashley

Bucket List

This is such a cliche blog topic it almost makes me want to vomit just thinking about it. But, here I am, writing about it again anyway.

See here’s the thing, everyone goes through these periods where they become acutely aware of their own mortality – as skydivers, this has a tendency to creep up on us from time to time.

I’ve written pseudo bucket lists before – participated in blogger challenges like the “30 before 30″ list and all the jazz – but to me, those things are a bit self-centered (yes, I realize that, at it’s core, blogging is pretty self-centered, but bear with me here if you could).

This time of the year I have a tendency to get pretty reflective – to look back at the year, what I’ve accomplished vs. what I set out to do. I’m not one for “new year’s resolutions,” but I do like to set goals for myself just to keep me going. At the beginning of the year, I’m not going to lie, I was struggling with a lot. My heart and soul was focused on fixing what was wrong inside me and in the environment surrounding me, and I have to admit, as the end of 2011 is bearing down, I came out on top. Take that 2011.

Along with the changes, the accomplishments and the overall happiness that surrounds my world, December has brought on reflections not of myself, but of others in need.

As you’re all very aware, one of the things I pride myself on is the yearly Jump for Diabetes event that helps raise funds for the Juvenile Diabetes Research foundation and support diabetes research. It’s a cause close to my heart, and given that my husband is the founder of this wonderful event, it makes me even prouder that our little family is able to do something to give back every year.

(Small plug here, but if you want to continue to support our cause, you can do so throughout the year at http://jdrfillinois.org and when you click Donate Now, enter Jump for Diabetes in the special instructions. Help us get to our goal and find a cure for diabetes!)

With that, I’ve realized that a true bucket list is about more than what you want to accomplish, the places you want to visit and things you want to purchase by a set date, it’s about how you want to live your life and the ways you want to leave your mark on the world before you pass on.

I’m a firm believer that bucket lists are not set in stone, rather, they’re living, breathing documents that allow us to focus our energies on those things we want to accomplish in our lives. If thought through properly, a bucket list can set the tone for your adult life, provide a foundation for where you want to go, and give you motivation to achieve those goals. It’s not simply a list of to-dos, but a guide for who you want to become.

So below, in no particular order (hence, this list is not numbered) are a few of those things I see as bucket list material. Maybe one day I’ll sit down and draft my bucket list in full and post it here for all to see – but then, it’s seems rather “finalized,” and I like the idea of always being able to alter your path as changes occur in your life. For now, you get to see a few of my goals for living a positive, enjoyable life I can be proud to call mine.

Personally impact one person’s life in a positive way.

Give back in ways that life has provided for me (through mentorship, career and skydiving support, etc)

Spend one holiday season volunteering.

Travel.

Establish a not-for-profit and spread the word (this one, though accomplished, will be ongoing throughout my life).

Appreciate. (My husband, my extended family, my career, my health, my friends – appreciate all the good life has to offer, even when times are tough)

Commit to health and fitness with green smoothies, limited processed foods, regular workouts, etc.

Give animals in need a home: always adopt from rescue organizations and foster homes.

Don’t miss out on great opportunities because of obligation. Carpe diem – live life to it’s fullest.

Spend every day as if it might be the last – with friends, family and love in my heart.

I have to be honest, I really wanted to put something on this list about living out my wedding vows, and loving my husband. But truth be told, I don’t need to put that on a list, it’s something that comes completely natural to me. Appreciate… even when times are tough, seemed more appropriate, as I, like many people, struggle with focusing on the bad, even when so many things are good and right in my life.

What are some things you’d put on your bucket list? They can be specific or broad, but how do you want to live your life? How do you see your future playing out?

Love and blue skies!

Ashley

Being something vs. being someone

I think we as individuals sometimes have a hard time distinguishing between wanting to be someone and wanting to be something.

Growing up, everyone always asks us what we want to “be” as adults. Some kids say firefighters or teachers (because they have no idea at the time that saying nuclear physicist is actually the more profitable answer), in my day it was marine biologist – that must have been a trend for kids from Michigan who liked animals and wanted an excuse to move to Florida.

From the time we start school we’re encouaged to try to be someone – to be successful and make something of our lives.

Then, the Internet came crashing down around us. Our entire lives consumed by technology and a constant need to stay connected. After all, if you’re more than 5 feet away from your iPhone at any given time you won’t be in the “know.” (Note: this is pretty accurate, actually, given the amount of information there is to consume these days.)

At the beginning, everyone who had something to say was a thought leader. Now, independent thought seems to be overshadowed by the immense amount of sharing that’s going on. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, I share quite frequently when I see a piece of information that I think my friends/family/contacts would be interested to know about.

What you’re also seeing a lot of these days are people who are out there not just trying to be someone, through thoughtful, meaningful actions, but who want to be something – the self-proclaimed “experts” of the world, if you will.

That’s what you see most of on the web, people who are the social media blogger, the person with the most followers on Twitter, whatever. It’s more about what they have become in status than who they are as a person. You see variations of this in real life too, where people want to be the athlete, the inventor, the skydiver, but sometimes I wonder if people lose a bit of themselves in the process of becoming someTHING.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a statement I’m making, it’s more of a broad question. DO people lose themselves in the race to become better, faster, stronger than their “opponents.” Does life become individual competition, rather than a team sport?

Given that my occupation, my livelihood depends on the existence of social media, I see my fair share of comments, posts, conversations that make me ponder this even further. Some days there’s this air of complete and total community – everyone is out to help everyone else in their lives. Sharing is about providing assistance to others, to truly share, rather than providing information in order to be the “expert.” Other days, it seems all everyone can talk about is themselves, and how great they are, and where they’ve gotten, despite who they had to walk over to get there.

Granted, I see a very small sliver of the overall picture, but I can’t help but wonder, if sometimes, people really do get so wrapped up in being something, they’ve forgotten what it’s like to be someone: themselves.

Cheers!

Ashley

Falling off the map

As much as I hate to say it, I’m going to be falling of the grid for the next few weeks. So, there’s a chance you won’t see many, if any, posts from me until the end of October.

Here’s why:

1) I’m getting married. Yes, I’m already married, but we didn’t have a wedding. So I guess I should say, I’m having a wedding here very soon.

2) I’m moving. Not out of state (again), just to a different ‘burb. And in all honesty, it’s pretty logistically hands off for me as my incredible husband is doing the majority of the heavy lifting on this one (literally and figuratively here). But there’s still lots of little loose ends to tie up along the way.

3) Travel – unfortunately, not so much for fun. My company is sending me on a couple trips in the next month so my blogging time will be limited.

So as you can see, any free time I do have is spent preparing for one of these three things. But, the good news is that I will have plenty of experiences to share when I do get back into the swing of blogging.

If anyone is interested in guest posting, let me know. I’m sure the audience would love to hear from someone else for a change.

Until next time -

Love and Blue Skies!

Ashley

Sometimes, life is hard

I feel like this goes without saying, but lately I’ve encountered a few people (inside the skydiving world, and out) who act as if the world owes them.

Let me explain.

Some people go through life and it’s relatively easy – they have things handed to them, they don’t have to jump through the same hoops that others have to (for one reason or another) – all in all, they’re skating by because life has always been just a bit too easy.

Then one day, it’s not. One day, they wake up and have to work for what they want, and it’s appalling. Can’t say I’d blame anyone for being shocked when the life has been served to them on a silver platter suddenly takes a turn, but I do wish they’d take a step back for a second and look at where they are and how they got there.

(Editor’s Note – I’m not talking about life-changing events such as serious injury, illness, or another situation that completely turns a person’s world on end. My reference here is to stumbles in the road that we all encounter from time to time such as issues at work, disagreements with family and friends, things of that nature. I’m not here to judge – especially those who have encountered devastation in their lives – only to offer up a bit of advice from my experiences.)

Life isn’t always easy. Sure, I’ve had my fair share of pain-free moments that should have been much more of a struggle, but then again, I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am in life. I’m proud of that, as should anyone else who has put forth significant effort to get where they are in their career, skydiving, or whatever else is driving their lives. It speaks to character.

But the fact is, walking around, bitching about the circumstances that aren’t ideal, complaining that your life isn’t going the way you’d like it to because of the environment around you, essentially blaming everyone and everything for you “misfortunes,” isn’t doing you any good either. If you don’t like something, change it. If someone or something is holding you back, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate the role that person, place or thing plays in your life. If it’s worth it, fight to keep it. If it’s not, figure out what is and insert that into your life. Take action other than sitting around complaining that you haven’t, you can’t, you won’t because the current situation isn’t exactly as you envisioned. Of course, this type of change typically doesn’t happen over night, either, so have a little patience with yourself and your positive outlook – it’s not always easy, but it will pay off in the end.

So for those of you out there who are coming across your first stumbles in the road of life, pick yourself up and face the challenge head on. I can promise you, in the end, it’s not as hard as you might think, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll learn something valuable along the way.

*stepping down from my soapbox now*

Blue ones!

Ashley

Channeling your passion

Sports like skydiving take a special type of motivation to keep going – it’s best described, in my mind, as channeled passion. Let me explain.

Like most things in life, there’s a huge learning curve in the beginning of skydiving. You’re always jumping, and when you’re not, you’re thinking about it, reading about it, watching videos. Your life turns into skydiving.

But then, something happens. You get comfortable (sorta). You’ve had a few years in the sport, got a few hundred jumps under your belt, been around the community, you know the people, the “types,” you’ve done most of the novelty jumps like horny gorillas and tubes, you’ve jumped more than a dozen aircraft, and you’re fairly comfortable in your skills.

It’s that channeled passion that keeps you going – past this first hump, likely of many, on the road to becoming an advanced skydiver.

A number of skydivers, at this stage, find a discipline they love and focus their love for the sport there. I, on the other hand, have had trouble doing so. Not only that, but let me tell you that bouncing between disciplines as (what I still consider myself to be) a beginner does nothing but slow that learning curve down a bit.

In order to channel your passion, you have to find that spark, that thing that keeps you coming back. Yes, freefall is definitely enough to keep me coming back on a regular basis, but is it enough to drive me to improve my skills? Sometimes a goal is needed – I know lots of 4-way kids who got their start because of a competitive itch – but some of us just don’t have that. Others dabble and one day fall into the discipline that was meant for them (no pun intended).

But sometimes, it just takes a bit of internal reflection to find what is really driving you. Maybe it’s ratings and instructing, maybe it’s competing, maybe it’s a dream to be invited to big-way invitationals, or maybe it’s just a drive to have fun. I definitely fall into the latter category.

Sure, I want to be good. I’d love to be able to do any discipline, any day of the week and keep up with the best of ‘em out there. Realistic without driving myself insane in the process? Nope.

For me, this sport is about recreation, relaxation and truly enjoying myself – stress free. I’ve found all these things throughout my time in this sport, so it’s the fun and pure enjoyment that keeps me coming back for more – and the last thing I need is pressure to be something. But, that’s just me.

I’ll leave the competing and instructing up to those who find their passion is best channeled there. I’m just going to be a kid in the big blue playground.

Love and blue skies!

Ashley

Unintentional time off

A long weekend spent away from the dropzone was not what was intended for the Labor Day holiday, but sometimes life has a way of taking over.

The past two years, this weekend has been spent at the Work Stinks! Boogie in Ohio. Between our move to Chicago and upcoming wedding festivities, there just weren’t enough resources to make the trip this year. But I can’t say it didn’t turn out to be a fabulous weekend.

Each day I woke up with the intention of “we’ll head to the dropzone today,” but it never seemed to pan out that way. After spinning class on Saturday I had just enough time to come home and shower before some serious rain moved in. Definitely no jumping for us that day. Sunday included an impromptu trip to Wisconsin to visit a buddy of Rick’s and cook out. The weather turned cold and rainy in the afternoon, with gusty wind all day. So, we didn’t feel so bad about another day spent on the ground with good company.

Monday morning blew in with more gusts, so we spent the day running errands, making pizza and just thoroughly enjoying our last day of the long weekend. In hindsight, I couldn’t be happier with the weekend we had. Sure, it’d have been nice to get in a skydive or two, but sometimes it’s nice when life shows you a different path for a change.

What did you do with your Labor Day weekend?

Blue ones!

Ashley

What I wish I knew

So I’ve been asked to write about what I wish I knew when I got my A-license – “transition from student to fun jumper” as it was so eloquently put. Honestly, that’s a big task because I still see myself as a student. I’m by no means proficient in any area of skydiving and dabbling in disciplines, though fun, does have a way of keeping progression in freeflying, belly flying, wingsuiting, etc at a bit of a slower pace.

On top of that, every skydive is a learning experience, so I’m a true believer in each and every jumper always being a “student” in the sport. Of course, I do understand the request, and I did a bit of polling of other skydivers so I can provide a heartier post than just spewing learnings from my own experiences.

Let’s start with the obvious:

Never stop thirsting for knowledge: If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you need to crave the learning experience. Skydiving is, at times, very fucking humbling. But, if you’re open to it, you can really learn something about yourself in the process. It’s not all about figuring out how to stick a sitfly and dock with your fellow jumpers – it’s deeper than that – having an open mind will allow you to take all that in.

Not only that, the thirst for knowledge helps keep things exciting and novel. Sure, I may not be the best belly flyer at 300 skydives, and by now I probably should have my head down dialed in, but I’ve enjoyed the learning experience that comes along with new disciplines. I like perfecting my canopy skills, I love jumping in a wingsuit for a fun flock, keeping things fresh helps me stay in that wide-eyed, giddy phase that most jumpers are in just off student status.

Be flexible: This one is two-fold. Physically, I can’t recommend enough that you stretch, do yoga, pilates, whatever you have to in order to stay flexible. Flexibility allows you more opportunity to manipulate the air in different ways – it gives you more options. And, it really does help you understand your own body a bit more.

Mental flexibility on the other hand, can be a bit of a challenge at times. A commitment to progress in the sport is important, but don’t be too rigid with yourself on what that progress looks like. For example, if you want to focus on your belly flying skills, that’s great. But don’t tell yourself you absolutely won’t freefly till you have X amount of jumps, because you never know when you might turn away a chance to jump with one of the best because of your rigidity. Ebb and flow with the opportunities that come your way – even goals have a way of finding that flexible balance. Go with it.

Ask more questions: This is a great one from one of my fellow jumpers who is also a coach. Sometimes students are too timid to ask questions, but this is your chance. People expect it. When you’re on the ground, talk as much as you can to experienced jumpers. Blurt out any question that comes to your mind to your instructors and coaches. Get answers now. There’s no stupid question when you’re a student. But, when you have 100 jumps and you’re just now finding the courage to ask about basic canopy flight mechanics, you might get laughed off the dropzone, or worse, people will refuse to jump with you because they think you’re uneducated and not safe. Plus, knowing all you can as a student only preps you for being as safe a jumper as you can be once you earn that A.

Read, Watch, Admire: Dropzone.com, Blue Skies Magazine, Parachutist, blogs, YouTube videos – the list goes one. Soak up as much knowledge on your own as possible. Take opinions with a grain of salt, but listen to them regardless. This is how you’ll build on your own skills. Find time to read Brian Germain’s book, sign up for a canopy course stat, flip through the SIM if you’re bored one rainy afternoon. The more you can surround yourself with skydiving, the more knowledge you’ll have.

Ask for advice: Norman Kent in town and you’ve got a burning question – ask him. Been admiring Taya’s flocking skills from afar and run into her at a boogie – stop and say hi around the bonfire. Everyone is approachable (usually) as we’ve all been students at one point or another. Advice can come in all forms, but you’ll never get it if you don’t reach out and talk to those who inspire you.

Those are my top 5 at this point – that’s enough out of me. Any other advice from all you fun jumpers out there?

Blue ones!

Ashley

Don’t be afraid to F$^% it up

…because chances are, you will.

One of my favorite sayings of one of my wingusiter friends is, “Don’t F$^% it up!” Hearing that just before a flock always puts a smile on my face.

I like to put a bit of a twist on it though, and remind myself not to be afraid to F- it up. Why? Because the fear of messing up alone is enough to make you mess up. Well, for me anyway.

I’ve come to realize this mantra translates well to other aspects of life too. This is the way I look at it, if I can visualize a skydive on the ground, going just the way I want it to, get in the airplane and jump out at 14,000 ft telling myself not to worry about F-ing up, then I can certainly do that in the rest of my life. After all, asking yourself “what’s the worst that can happen?” has a whole different meaning on the ground that in does in the sky.

In day to day life, what’s the worst that really can happen? Maybe your boss doesn’t like some aspect of the email that you sent to your client and he talks to you about it. But, you learned something right? As long as you weren’t a dumbass and leaked information or told someone where to stick it on company time, you likely didn’t do any damage that can’t be undone – and now next time you know.

With skydiving, it’s a bit different of course, because we all know what the worst that can happen is. BUT, if you look at it piece by piece, say, what’s the worst that can happen if you cork out on that head down? Maybe you’ve lost your chance to get it on that skydive, or you bump into someone, or even kick or get kicked in the face (been there) but so what, it’s all part of the sport, and similar to a work blunder, you learned something.

Here’s my point, being controlled by the fear to mess up is just as bad, if not worse sometimes, than being complacent and too overconfident. Just like in all other aspects of life, I’m a big believer in having a sense of balance. When it comes to safety, there’s no room for complacency, but overcoming challenges won’t happen if you let fear stand in your way either.

So, in the air and on the ground, be aware of the risks and acknowledge them, but don’t be afraid to take that next step to tackling challenges and conquering the fear of F-ing it up. Don’t be afraid to ask yourself, “what’s the worst that can happen?” and then be prepared for it.

Love and blue skies!

Ashley