I know y’all are probably tired of hearing me say that Deepseed is the shit when it comes to jumpsuits – because they are – but I wanted to review some of the important reasons why, if you’re in the market for a suit, you should really consider them.
First and foremost, customer service. If you’ve been in the sport a while, you know those skydiving manufacturers who have the reputation of having terrible customer service and those who have been known to bend over backwards to ensure their customers have everything they need, and then some (like the PDs and L&Bs of the world). Let me tell you, Deepseed falls into the latter category.
Having worked with them for the greater part of the season, I’m absolutely amazed at the level of responsiveness I receive each time I reach out. Even with a 16 hour time difference, Liam, Sally and Krista make time in their early mornings to answer my questions and ensure I’ve got everything I need before the sun goes down on the East Coast of the States. They’re so patient with my random requests, last minute design changes and tweaks – Krista has even jumped on Skype to walk through requests step-by-step to ensure they get it right.
Working with a company who not only is responsive but willing to go above and beyond at all hours of the day to ensure top-notch service is an experience to look forward to. Ordering skydiving gear should not be a chore – it should be enjoyable. You should love the final product, because as we all know, that shit ain’t cheap, but at the end of the day, when the product you ordered comes in the mail and you can tell that they took care in the design and development, it’s all worth it.
That’s what you get with Deepseed. Quality. Stellar customer service. And a custom design that is like no other.
I’ve mentioned the quality in previous posts, but I have to go over that again. I have been with friends at the dropzone and watched as the stitching on their “name brand” suits unravels before our eyes. I’ve also seen people blow their suits apart in the tunnel – even suits that were “tunnel rated.” It’s disheartening to see – especially when these people spent hundreds and waited for weeks on these suits that were supposed to stand the test of time only to fall apart within the first 6 months they’ve had them.
I’ve also seen suits that have FINALLY arrived only to be far too large, or too small, and need to be sent back to be altered multiple inches. That goes beyond measurement error, that’s just sloppy. Deepseed has this amazing measuring school online with pictures and video to show you how to get the most accurate measurements and will ensure that, if you’ve followed instructions, your suit will come back fitting like a glove. Mine did. The INverter that we ordered at the same time did.
And if there’s any question about a measurement or a design request, you better believe you’ll get an email from Krista or Sally rather than having them guess. This just goes to show the level of customer service you can expect from them – the highest!
If you need a tunnel rated suit, I highly recommend looking into the Vyper – made for both men and women. Or, if you’re a jumper in the summer and a tunnel rat in the winter like me, talk to them about adding a layer of windproof material to the Curv8or or INverter (the men’s version of the Curv8or which is an amazing freefly suit) so you can fly it in and out of the tunnel without worrying about blowing out your sipper.
Guys, it’s evident that I can’t say enough good about Deepseed, as a company, as people, as designers. Do your research, email them about design options (you can do much more with design than you can on their design program online, just shoot them a note, they’ll work with you) I promise you, you won’t regret giving them a chance. I certainly haven’t.
Love and Blue Skies!
When I was fresh off student status back in 2009, I found myself getting pulled into fairly big-way belly stuff. By my 40th jump I’d done two 8 ways, a 10 way and an attempted 15 way jump. A typical skydive for me during this RW phase included anywhere from 6-8 people. We’d start with a BFR (big fucking round for those who aren’t familiar) and turn points if time allowed.
At one local event one of my AFF instructors pulled me aside and told me that I really should get away from the big ways and do some basic 2 and 3-ways to improve my skills. At the time, I wasn’t sure why this was valuable advice – I was by far the newest jumper in the group and many of those flyers had hundreds if not thousands of jumps, so I was learning something on every jump.
But now, as a freeflyer, I completely get this advice. So often I see people who want to learn something in the sky getting on these 6, 7, 8-way freefly jumps, where the average jumper has 300 skydives and is trying to organize something where that guy who can barely hold his sit is base. I’m always there to watch these videos and hear the post-jump commentary, because 99 times out of 100 the jump went to total shit and became what we call a zoo dive.
Not only are you not going to learn much on these jumps, but often times they can be quite dangerous with jumpers of varied experience levels all over the sky.
So what do you do when you’re manifested on one of these jumps that just keeps growing in size but you really want to learn and know the jump isn’t going to be productive? You have to know when a jump becomes too many to properly learn and progress and be willing to back out. Fun as these jumps might be, save them for sunset load, when you’ve had a productive day in the sky and want to end the day with something entertaining.
The last two weekends in the sky were spent doing one-on-one jumps with fellow freeflyers, willing to work on some stuff in the sky. I literally did the same jump all day last Saturday, and this Saturday was basically the same, working on the same transition over and over, and getting coaching on how to improve.
I chatted with one of the jumpers who had been jumping with a larger group of beginner and intermediate freeflyers all day, and there was frustration in their tone. Learning wasn’t happening on these big jumps and all they wanted was to walk away with some things to work on, having seen even the smallest improvement in their flying, but that didn’t happen with skydives like these.
I’m not normally one for shelling out advice, given that I’m still very much a student in this sport myself, but consider it advice from an AFF instructor – that’s where it came from originally, after all: if you want to improve your skills, stick to 2 and 3-ways, get some coaching, and dedicate yourself to practice and drill dives. Save the zoo-ways for boogies and sunset load. You’re bound to see improvement if you just put your head to it.
I’m caught in it – help me! That spot between being a beginner freeflyer and actually being able to hang with the big boys. The awkward place where you’re capable and confident head up, but when it comes to putting your head toward the Earth you’re hit or miss.
It’s called being an intermediate freeflyer, and some days it just sucks.
For 200+ jumps I loved being a beginner freeflyer – I got to fly with people who knew what they were doing, who could teach me a thing or two, but weren’t so amazing that they were only on their heads. As a member of the skydiving community at Skydive Chicago last year, I got to enter the world of intermediate freeflying by showing others some tricks on how to hold a sit and not backslide, while doing some organized dives with the better jumpers. It was a great time to be caught in the middle.
Moving to The South has been a challenge in that area, as most people who are freeflying around me are either super newbies who want my help in their sit progression, or super good and have their own agenda (like VFS practice). So I tend to spend a lot of time helping others and not as much time practicing and improving my own skills. (Don’t get me wrong here, I loving giving back to the community that helped me get to where I am today, but I also love being a sponge and soaking in new knowledge and experiences from those better than me…)
Lucky for me, I was able to catch the name of another “caught in the middle” jumper who was looking to do some serious practice: head down exits, sit docking, transitions, all those things that take jump after jump to lock down.
That’s the thing with freeflying – it takes a lot of practice and a lot of currency in the discipline. It’s been difficult finding people as dedicated to learning as I am, so when I find them, I claim them.
This past weekend I headed down to Skydive Atlanta to do some two-way practice with Jon. I received his name from a friend out at The Farm and I’m glad I did. A full day of turning loads and we were pretty thrilled with our progression. Check out a video of one of our best jumps of the day below. So fun. We’re planning to do it again soon, too, along with a couple others I’ve found who want to spend some serious learning time in the sky.
Until then, I’m hoping to enjoy more time in the sky and on the ground, giving and receiving tips on freefly, traveling, and making a tunnel trip or two to keep this learning curve on the upswing.
I’ve always said that dogs have this way of showing us how not to take life too seriously. Just when things start to get real, my Sabre dog will do something silly that makes me laugh so hard I forget why I was frustrated in the first place.
Today as I was walking her through the neighborhood I realized something – aside from the essentials like food, water and shelter, all dogs need to live a happy life is love and exercise. Which made me realize that when you get right down to it, that’s all we humans need too. At the most basic level, these are the things we are seeking out every day – exercise through the sports we play, the time we spend outdoors, the hobbies we call our passions and love through the relationships we cherish, the communities we seek and the pets we call our own.
Skydiving is one of those things that allows me to find both. I love the feeling of sore muscles after a long day of jump, pack, repeat or spending an hour in the tunnel on the weekend. I find myself seeking out challenging yoga classes knowing that it’ll help tone and strengthen in preparation for the tunnel (and that whole mind/body connect thing doesn’t hurt either), and the community that surrounds the sport provides me with that much needed human connection on a regular basis.
That’s really it – this is more of a random Monday thought.
Curious though – how do you fill your need for love and exercise?
I’m trying something new – writing on wine…while drinking wine that is.
This has been an incredibly stressful week for me, so after spending a weekend at the dropzone I realized how much I needed an outlet during the week. Sure, I have yoga. But lately, I’ve found it incredibly challenging to keep my head in the right state during my practice.
It took me by surprise when I came home from work on Monday and was craving a run.
Now, for those who don’t know me well, I’m going to give you a bit of back story on my life before I was a skydiver. Apologies to those who have already heard this, but it helps paint the picture of why it’s surprising that I decided to pound the pavement again.
When I was a freshman in college I started running. Prior to that I wasn’t much of an athlete. I played tennis in high school, though admittedly not all that well. But, I was blessed with a decent metabolism and I never found it necessary to participate in sports or work out much to keep myself fit.
So when I went off to MSU and gained 7 pounds in the first week I was in the dorms (hello beer and late night pizza) I knew I had to take action. During my first week of classes I decided to start a good habit – I would run 4 days each week on one of the shitty treadmills in the basement of my dorm while watching sitcoms to get me through the agonizing pain of running.
I hated it.
Until one day, I didn’t.
One day, I took off down the road for a 3+ mile run and I caught it – the runners high.
If you’ve experienced this, you comepletely understand. If you haven’t, well, you’re missing out. The runners high is what kept me going all winter, whether on the treadmill or pounding the pavement with the rest of the MSU Running Club. I was a runner, and I loved that fact. I ran 6 days a week for the first two years of college. I craved it.
Then one day I thought it would be good to put all my progress to use and I started running road races. My first race, I took 7th in my age group. That was huge for me, but I wanted more. I kept training. I ran harder and faster. Until one day, I ran too fast. Literally.
The next thing I knew I was in a back brace and was told I wouldn’t be running for 2 months – at the earliest. Fuck. What?! That’s like fucking starting over!
Yep, that’s exactly what that was. But, once a week, I went out, back brace in place, and attempted to pound the pavement. Nope. Just wasn’t going to happen. The pain with each foot strike was excruciating. I had to come to terms with it. My lumbar had to heal.
Eventually, they did. And I started from scratch. I hated running, but still had that taste of a runners high, so I knew what was coming. Sure enough, I was back at it. I ran, and I ran hard. I wanted to be the best I could. I wanted to race again, to be the best in my age group. One foot in front of the next, I was determined.
Then, one day, I felt like someone took a sledge hammer to my foot, mid-stride. What the fuck?!
I stopped, walked, it seemed okay, so I picked the pace back up…nope, not gonna happen. Fearful of what I knew deep down, I tried to run every day for two weeks before I finally headed to the ortho, only to find out that sure enough, I fractured a metatarsal. 6 weeks in a boot and, once again, this girl was starting over.
I thought I was done. I put my heart and soul into yoga. I used the elliptical, I swam, I did everything I could, but nothing compared to running. I missed it, I craved it, even when I knew I was at that point where, going back was totally going to suck.
The boot came off, and I didn’t run. Not right away. I did everything else under the sun that I could BUT run. I was scared. I bought $200 shoes in hopes that I wouldn’t have to endure any more broken bones. But I found my way back to running. I had to.
I entered that half marathon, the one I’d always wanted to do in Virginia Beach – with music and entertainment the entire route – I couldn’t wait. It was the ultimate motivation. My parents were coming, even friends from college were planning to come to see me get that 13.1 that I’d always dreamed of. I went balls to the wall. I ran hard and often. Just like everything else in my life, I wasn’t going to half ass it. It was all or nothing for me. Then, one day, in the middle of a run, I felt it. That same pain that a year ago had stopped me mid-stride. My 3rd metatarsel. It was re-injured. To what degree, I wasn’t sure. But I was sure of one thing, my running career, done.
I was devistated. I pulled myself out of the race, cancelled my flights and hotel reservations. The appointment with the ortho confirmed that I once again fractured my foot. “That which does not bend, breaks,” was the line I was fed. It was a sad day. But, I moved on. I healed, I found skydiving. I buried myself in yoga and became comfortable being a non-runner. After 6 years of running and injury, I finally saw my place was not in sneakers on the pavement.
Until, at age 28, the comfort I take that knowing the sky is there for me every weekend, just isn’t enough – not with the current level of stress in my life. So, Monday, I laced up, and ran. And I’m not talking about an around the block run, I’m talking 3 solid miles with Spotify and my thoughts to keep me comfortable. I thought maybe it was a fluke, until I took off with the same mentality yesterday and 3.5 miles later the endorphins were in full swing and I found the release I needed.
Turns out, I’m not all that comfortable not being a runner. It was my first high – well, kinda – and something that I’m really not sure I can live without. But this time, there’s no race in mind, just the knowledge that I get to go out and spend some quality time with myself and my thoughts. And for once, I’m completely comfortable with that.
Love and Blue Skies!
p.s. After reading through this with a sober head, I didn’t do too bad all wined up. Of course, I did my best to edit out the typos and grammar issues.
A fellow blogger buddy that I met back in my days as a Cleveland resident often has these posts that inspire me to share something similar of my own. I know I’ve had posts inspired by her before, so here’s another one. She and I lead very different lives but I feel so connected to her just reading her blog each week. Miss you girl!
When I started reading her post, I couldn’t help but have three decisions immediately pop into my head as life-changing events. And as you may have noticed, I love making lists, so this was a must write. Most of my list includes risky decisions, but without them, I wouldn’t be where I am today – and honestly, I love where I am today. But enough chit chat, here’s my list:
Going to Michigan State
I’m pretty certain there aren’t many people reading this blog that are aware, but I actually wasn’t planning to be a Spartan. I grew up bleeding green, as we die-hard Spartans say, with a father who taught me to scream at the TV when our point guard misses shots from the free throw line (and other sports blunders), so it always seemed like a natural fit for me to don my green and white and attend the university that was just up the street. But, as a teenager who wanted to live her own life, ‘up the street’ wasn’t going to cut it for me.
My love of sports and the Big 10 conference had me choosing an out-of-state school (I was actually considering being a Purdue Boilermaker – facepalm) in hopes of gaining some much needed independence. After deliberations and looking at the programs at Purdue vs. MSU, along with the ridiculous out-of-state tuition costs, I decided, somewhat begrudgingly at the time, on State. My first year in Holden Hall, walking across the street to tailgate at the tennis courts, attending games at Spartan stadium, getting season hockey tickets with my buddy Brian at Munn…it was an experience I can’t imagine not having.
And now, as an adult, the Spartan pride and community follows me. My closest friends in Texas were Spartans, the community of MSU grads in Chicago is overwhelming. When you’re on the hunt for jobs, Spartans will jump at the chance to help each other out. There’s so much pride and so much opportunity that comes with being a Michigan State Spartan. I definitely made the right choice.
Taking an internship across the country
When I graduated college I was willing to go pretty much anywhere for the right opportunity. Jobs were scarce, especially in public relations, and even with 5 internships under my belt during college, it wasn’t enough to secure me a full-time gig fresh out of the gates.
I’d met a number of great people on my job hunt and received what is still the best piece of advice I’ve ever been given: “Don’t fear the word no. If you don’t at least ask, you’ll never know if the opportunity was there, and the worst thing that can happen is you’re in the same place you were before.”
So, when I called up a friend who worked at one of the top public relations agencies in the country and she recommended I reach out to their office in San Antonio who might need an intern, I did just that. I picked up the phone, dialed, and asked for an interview. The woman on the other end of the line was quite surprised at how forward I was, and sure enough, I was granted a full interview process.
Three weeks later I got a call for a summer internship in San Antonio, Texas. The money wasn’t great, there were no benefits, but if I blew them out of the water with my work I knew they’d find a place for me. So, I picked up and moved. Once the internship was over, they placed me full time in Dallas.
This decision not only helped me get in on the ground level of the career path I wanted, but it made me less afraid to take chances. Opportunities come up all the time and I’ve moved across the country a few times now for them (living in San Antonio, Dallas, Cleveland, Chicago and now Atlanta) and if another opportunity arose that tugged at me, I probably wouldn’t hesitate to do it. At least, it wouldn’t be the move/change part that scares me away.
Pursuing social media when it was still a risk
When social media marketing was still fairly new and I was eyeballs deep in media lists and pitching for flea and tick medication, I had an opportunity to join the “digital team” working on the first social projects our agency had seen. At the time, I was thinking “fuck yes, as long as I don’t have to pitch these damn stories to traditional media outlets, I’m in!”
My role started as a project manager of sorts, helping guide and write content for new websites. Before I knew it I was managing full-blown social media campaigns, acting as community manager for Fortune 10 brands, and developing social strategy. I fell in love with my career and haven’t looked back since.
Along the way, so many friends and colleagues have asked how I got into social. Lucky for me, I got in early and have experience to show for it – unless you’re willing to start on the ground floor (read: intern) it’s going to be a challenge. Sorry guys – everyone wants in.
Doing a tandem skydive
This one probably goes without saying, given that I’m in my 4th season of skydiving and haven’t loved anything quite as much as I love this sport. The thing is I almost didn’t go.
On the ground, I was so nervous, I was shaking. I felt like I was going to vomit. I was light headed. But, it was the last stop on my vacation and something I really wanted to check off the bucket list, so I forced myself to do it. And I certainly wasn’t going to be that big of a pussy and get all the way there to back out.
Thank God I did. I was in love before my feet were even back on the ground. I just knew it was something I needed to do for the rest of my life.
Simplifying my living style
For as long as I can remember I’ve had this need to hold on to things. Whether they had sentimental value or held a memory, I had trouble parting with things.
After moving to Atlanta, I took a look around my house and told myself it was time to simplify. My college psychology courses told me that I was holding onto these things not because I needed them or used them, or really even wanted them in my house, but because they reminded me of a happy time, and if I could hold on to the things, I’d always have that happiness – or some bullshit metaphor like that.
My move here was a time of signifiant change, so I found that getting rid of anything redundant in my life (hello 3 jumpsuits that I don’t wear anymore) was a great place to start cleaning house. After removing the clutter that’s really just been making my life more complex, I found that my house was much more peaceful and that I generally prefer living with less – it allows me to focus my attention on what’s important in my life.
You may think there are some things missing from this list, like starting this blog and, if you know me well, some of the other big decisions I’ve made recently, but some of those are topics that don’t have a place here while others are just plain obvious. I stuck to the decisions that made the most positive impact on my life to include in this list.
So tell me, what are the best decisions you’ve made in your life so far?
Love and Blue Skies!
My motivation for skydiving goes in spurts – I have these times where all I want to do is play in the sky. Want to do a horny gorilla? Okay, I’m in. Freefly zoo dive, I’m on it. But then there are times where all I want to do is learn, to get better. Right now, I’m craving some hardcore learning.
It’s in my nature to be productive in what I do – that’s partially what drew me to skydiving in the first place – knowing there would always be a challenge, a new discipline to master. Well, right now, I want to master this little thing called freeflying.
Spending a couple weekends up at Skydive Chicago and watching the vertical teams training here in the South, flying with some amazing jumpers who could teach me a thing or two, and balancing that with doing a bit of teaching myself, it has me itching to improve. I’ve decided to dedicate some time and money to that effort. Thankfully, I’ve found some amazing local jumpers who are willing to spend some time with me in the sky – not to mention that I’ll be traveling for some coaching and tunnel time in the near future, thanks in part to some friends who are willing to road trip it, split some time and some expenses to make us all better.
Of course, that doesn’t change the fact that I’ll be totally willing to pass on my knowledge to newer jumpers who want to learn to / improve their sitflying, after all, that’s what this sport is about, paying it back. We all learn from flying with those who are better than us and there comes a time when you are the better person (holy crap, part of me can’t believe I’m saying that…) when you go from student to teacher. But at the end of the day, I love being a student and soaking up all the knowledge I can.
Coming off an amazing weekend with my fellow Farm animals, I’m stoked with my progress and the progress of those I jumped with. I got to play in the sky with people on and above my level and walked away pumped to continue progressing. My time on the ground was just as rewarding, spending time with an amazing community that continues to remind me why I’m in this sport, rain or shine – it’s just where I want to be.
Needless to say, over the next few months, you’ll be hearing lots about my adventures in skydiving as I transition my mind back to student in hopes of soaking up as much knowledge and skill as possible.
Blue skies y’all!
Well, the cat’s officially out of the bag as of Thursday in my exclusive interview with Adam from Skydive Addiction. He asked me to discuss Jump for Diabetes with him a few weeks back and I was more than happy to share the success we had this year and the overwhelming support and generosity of the skydiving community.
That said, all good things must come to an end and that’s precisely what is happening with Jump for Diabetes. We’ve had an amazing four years – raising and donating more than $25,000 to support diabetes research. The first two years we donated to the American Diabetes Association and the final two years we partnered with the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. All funds were earmarked for research in hopes of finding a cure. I certainly hope our efforts helped.
Once the final donations are sent in to the JDRF we will be closing up shop and dissolving Jump for Diabetes.
This is a very bittersweet announcement to make – and it was an incredibly difficult decision – given all the good this community has done for such a worthy cause. As a company, we were getting to a point where the events ran themselves (well, sorta) and each year it got easier to coordinate. Of course, being so emotionally invested, I was always adding new components to our plan, finding new ways to generate buzz, get people excited and spread the cause on a global basis. It was a lot of work, but well worth the effort. I got to meet and work with so many amazing companies and individuals along the way, all the while knowing that at the end we were going to be writing a big check to benefit diabetes research. We saw interest from premium sponsors like Performance Designs and Deepseed – we couldn’t have done it without these guys and their incredible support – as well as from dropzones around the country wanting to host their own version of the Jump for Diabetes event.
All factors that made it so difficult to hang up something I’ve worked so hard to build to the incredible cause it is. It’s that last factor – the ongoing interests of dropzones and individuals to host events – that has led me to my next adventure.
At the beginning of next season (read: January) I’ll be launching a new fundraiser consulting arm of SkydiveChick.com. I’m so proud to have been a part of Jump for Diabetes and everything it stands for in the community, and I want to continue providing value as I chase my passion in the sky. I plan to take the knowledge I’ve gained from planning three incredibly successful events in the skydiving community and consult with those who want to do good in a similar way. Regardless of the cause, I want to help – and there’s no reason why everything I’ve learned and mastered along the way (both from the JFD experiences and my marketing/PR/event planning background) should go to waste.
So, if you’re looking to do a fundraising event next year at your dropzone and aren’t sure where to begin, I just might be your girl! Or, if you want to do a fundraiser and incorporate skydiving into the mix (want to do a tandem to raise money for a cause, show some kids with cancer/diabetes/etc a good time at the dropzone, etc) hit me up. I just might be able to assist.
If diabetes is still a cause you’re interested in supporting – I’m more than willing to help there too and have some great connections with the organizations who would love to receive donations from your event.
Enough with the promotions, you’ll get to hear all about that when my consulting program is fully baked and launched (fair warning). What’s most important for me to say now is thank you. Thank you to our sponsors, the manufacturers, the dropzones who hosted us, the skydiving community, the families and friends for supporting us and listening to the incessant talking about a cause that was so close to my heart. Thank you for the generosity, the time, the resources y’all put in to make us so successful. NONE of this could have been possible without each and every person involved. I’m eternally grateful for that.
I look forward to continuing my philanthropic efforts in the skydiving community and working with new and old partners and meeting new friends while we make some great things happen.
Love and Blue Skies!
For those who don’t know me well in real life, you probably don’t know that I work in social media. Essentially, I get paid to be on Facebook all day. For those who do know me, you know I have these days where I’m entirely too cynical for my own good – today is one of those days.
That said, I see so much crap in social that annoys the living snot out of me every day, that I felt the need to share some of my Facebook pet peeves. We all have them, I just have an abundance, given the amount of time I spend there. So tell me, what are yours? Any in the list below irk you too, or do you have others?
Giving us your daily play-by-play
(8am) Woke up late. Crap! – Shouldn’t you be more worried about getting your ass to work and ensuring you brush your teeth before heading out the door than updating your Facebook status?
(10am) God I love coffee! – Good for you pal. So do I. What about it?
(noon) I want lunch but have no idea where to go. – Is this a poll? Are you asking for suggestions? Because if this is seriously the most important thing you have to post right now you might want to evaluate your situation.
(3pm) Is it 5 o’clock yet? – Nope. You know it’s not. I know it’s not…How about something like “I want to throw a pity party about my miserable job that I think I’m stuck in because I haven’t put in any effort to find a career I enjoy, anyone care to co-miserate?” At least it’s honest.
(3:10pm) Like this if you remember…. Share this if you think these puppies are cute … OMG look at these adorable puppies! – We get it, you’re bored. I like cute puppies just as much as the next guy but that doesn’t mean I’m going to like your picture.
(5pm) FINALLY, time to go home! – See 3pm.
(5:15pm) Going to the gym. Spinning then a back workout. Yeah! – You like to workout, got it.
(5:30pm) Checkin at the gym, just in case you didn’t see that status update.
(7pm) Checkin at Hardee’s. Treating myself! : ) - Didn’t you treat yourself to Dairy Queen yesterday? And I don’t recall a checkin at the gym either.
(tomorrow morning) – I just don’t get why I’m not losing weight. Time for a juice fast. Watch out world I’m going to be a cranky bitch. Maybe that’s because of the “treats?” But I appreciate the warning. *Hide all*
Other annoying, run-of-the-mill updates like: Running errands, I hate technology, going for a walk to clear my head, vacation in 10 days, vacation in 9 days, vacation in 8 days, vacation in 7.5 days, [name] is pooping. [name] is seriously taking a giant dump right now. Ugh- Monday, TGIF!
Okay, so some of those are a stretch, but really people. I think I’d rather know about your bowel movements than some of the other mundane crap you post.
Pictures of your dinner
Are you eating out at a restaurant and getting paid (or at least a free meal) to Tweet/Blog/Facebook about their latest special? No. Didn’t think so. I don’t care what you’re eating. I don’t care how many calories it is or how many minutes you’re going to have to spend on the treadmill to work that shit off – neither does anyone else. Don’t. Just don’t.
Sharing every detail of your children’s lives
Okay, you had a baby, great. Yes, we all want to see pictures of the new little life, but c’mon, I don’t need to hear the disgusting details of poop, vomit, or any other substance coming from the orifices of that child. Find a mommy forum and share away, but not Facebook people – or you’ll be the first person I unsubscribe from. No one needs that shit (literally) in their newsfeed.
And while we’re on the subject, we don’t need to know every ounce your child has gained since it’s conception. Still pregnant? Awesome, show us a picture of you before you pop – that’s fun. Hearing what vegetable your unborn child resembles (in size that is), how about you geotarget those posts to the small town where your parents live and spare the rest of us. I’m not even sure I know how big a rutabaga is…or should be.
Having a profile picture that is of something other than you
Tagging along with the above statement, your profile picture should not be of your child/dog/spouse/car. I make it a point not to accept friend requests of this nature because I don’t know your child/dog/spouse/car. This is YOUR Facebook page, it should be representative of you. Sure, these people/things are part of your life, but they are NOT YOU.
The daily self-portrait
Of course, that doesn’t mean you should get up every morning, grab your phone, stand in front of the mirror or stretch out your arm as far as it will go in front of you and snap a photo to put on Facebook. New outfit, new hair cut/color – whoopie. And for the love of all things holy, do not – I repeat – DO NOT purse your lips in this photo so you look like a duck. What IS that face anyway?!
Passive aggressive crap to get sympathy
“I can’t believe him, what an asshole!”
This does not tempt me to ask you what’s wrong. Want to talk? Call me, text me, I’m all ears. But for real, no one wants to be sucked into your drama – well, some do, which is equally sad, but I’m not one of them – so please don’t broadcast it in social.
Discussions with or letters to inannimate objects
Dear Mother Nature – please give us good weather for our wedding/vacation/weekend. I’ll be forever indebted to you.
Monday, you and I are not friends.
So how do you plan to give back to “mother nature” again? Yeah, I’m not friends with Monday either, or any of the other days because they are not human.
Alright, your turn, spill it – I know you have pet peeves too!
I have this rule for myself when life just doesn’t seem to be going my way – I call it the 24-hour rule. According to said rule, I allow myself 24 hours to sulk, be upset, pissed off, or whatever other negative emotion I might be experiencing about a situation, and then I force myself to make a plan to get the hell over it.
I’ve been known to press this rule on my friends and family as well. Too often I get invited to pity parties – those things fucking suck – where I immediately present the rule and let them know that I’m happy to support their terrible attitude for the next full day but I expect a plan for how they’re going to move forward tomorrow. Some have fully appreciated this, others don’t take to kindly to my “lack of sensitivity.” But, it’s not for everyone I suppose.
Of course, there are exceptions to this rule – like a death in the family or other devastating news that requires a full-fledged grieving process. I’m talking about your everyday run of the mill issues, like getting a talking to from your boss, or even bigger things like minor car accidents, injuries, even an unexpected change in career path, that inconvenience you and piss you off, but aren’t enough of a travesty to ruin your spirit.
I’m a believer that time heals all wounds, and that most over-reactions in life can be prevented by sleeping on it before taking action – especially on an emotionally charged situation. That said, sometimes it takes a little effort to get yourself back on track.
That’s where the 24-hour rule comes into play.
Give yourself time to grieve, to hate, to cry – whatever you need. But then, make it a point to move on. This timeframe may not work for you, you might need 2 days, a week, whatever, but then find ways to keep your mind productive. Make a plan for getting back on track. Have an injury and can’t do the things you love most? Okay, that sucks, be pissed. Then, figure out how you’re going to spend your recovery time. Read that book you’ve always wanted to read. Take up photography. Volunteer. Push yourself out of your comfort zone so you still know what it’s like to experience living. Whatever it is, do something to get your head out of the negative and be happy with your situation right now. Don’t let life turn you into Debbie Downer, no one wants to surround themselves with that kind of negative energy.
Of course, this is all easier said than done. It takes practice, persistence. You’re still going to have moments of missing whatever it is that was stripped from your life, but if you’re determined to not let the twists and turns of life bring you down, you’ll come out on the other more complete and fulfilled than you could have imagined.
Love and Blue Skies!