Sometimes, life is hard
I feel like this goes without saying, but lately I’ve encountered a few people (inside the skydiving world, and out) who act as if the world owes them.
Let me explain.
Some people go through life and it’s relatively easy – they have things handed to them, they don’t have to jump through the same hoops that others have to (for one reason or another) – all in all, they’re skating by because life has always been just a bit too easy.
Then one day, it’s not. One day, they wake up and have to work for what they want, and it’s appalling. Can’t say I’d blame anyone for being shocked when the life has been served to them on a silver platter suddenly takes a turn, but I do wish they’d take a step back for a second and look at where they are and how they got there.
(Editor’s Note – I’m not talking about life-changing events such as serious injury, illness, or another situation that completely turns a person’s world on end. My reference here is to stumbles in the road that we all encounter from time to time such as issues at work, disagreements with family and friends, things of that nature. I’m not here to judge – especially those who have encountered devastation in their lives – only to offer up a bit of advice from my experiences.)
Life isn’t always easy. Sure, I’ve had my fair share of pain-free moments that should have been much more of a struggle, but then again, I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am in life. I’m proud of that, as should anyone else who has put forth significant effort to get where they are in their career, skydiving, or whatever else is driving their lives. It speaks to character.
But the fact is, walking around, bitching about the circumstances that aren’t ideal, complaining that your life isn’t going the way you’d like it to because of the environment around you, essentially blaming everyone and everything for you “misfortunes,” isn’t doing you any good either. If you don’t like something, change it. If someone or something is holding you back, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate the role that person, place or thing plays in your life. If it’s worth it, fight to keep it. If it’s not, figure out what is and insert that into your life. Take action other than sitting around complaining that you haven’t, you can’t, you won’t because the current situation isn’t exactly as you envisioned. Of course, this type of change typically doesn’t happen over night, either, so have a little patience with yourself and your positive outlook – it’s not always easy, but it will pay off in the end.
So for those of you out there who are coming across your first stumbles in the road of life, pick yourself up and face the challenge head on. I can promise you, in the end, it’s not as hard as you might think, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll learn something valuable along the way.
*stepping down from my soapbox now*
Blue ones!
Ashley
Channeling your passion
Sports like skydiving take a special type of motivation to keep going – it’s best described, in my mind, as channeled passion. Let me explain.
Like most things in life, there’s a huge learning curve in the beginning of skydiving. You’re always jumping, and when you’re not, you’re thinking about it, reading about it, watching videos. Your life turns into skydiving.
But then, something happens. You get comfortable (sorta). You’ve had a few years in the sport, got a few hundred jumps under your belt, been around the community, you know the people, the “types,” you’ve done most of the novelty jumps like horny gorillas and tubes, you’ve jumped more than a dozen aircraft, and you’re fairly comfortable in your skills.
It’s that channeled passion that keeps you going – past this first hump, likely of many, on the road to becoming an advanced skydiver.
A number of skydivers, at this stage, find a discipline they love and focus their love for the sport there. I, on the other hand, have had trouble doing so. Not only that, but let me tell you that bouncing between disciplines as (what I still consider myself to be) a beginner does nothing but slow that learning curve down a bit.
In order to channel your passion, you have to find that spark, that thing that keeps you coming back. Yes, freefall is definitely enough to keep me coming back on a regular basis, but is it enough to drive me to improve my skills? Sometimes a goal is needed – I know lots of 4-way kids who got their start because of a competitive itch – but some of us just don’t have that. Others dabble and one day fall into the discipline that was meant for them (no pun intended).
But sometimes, it just takes a bit of internal reflection to find what is really driving you. Maybe it’s ratings and instructing, maybe it’s competing, maybe it’s a dream to be invited to big-way invitationals, or maybe it’s just a drive to have fun. I definitely fall into the latter category.
Sure, I want to be good. I’d love to be able to do any discipline, any day of the week and keep up with the best of ‘em out there. Realistic without driving myself insane in the process? Nope.
For me, this sport is about recreation, relaxation and truly enjoying myself – stress free. I’ve found all these things throughout my time in this sport, so it’s the fun and pure enjoyment that keeps me coming back for more – and the last thing I need is pressure to be something. But, that’s just me.
I’ll leave the competing and instructing up to those who find their passion is best channeled there. I’m just going to be a kid in the big blue playground.
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
What I wish I knew
So I’ve been asked to write about what I wish I knew when I got my A-license – “transition from student to fun jumper” as it was so eloquently put. Honestly, that’s a big task because I still see myself as a student. I’m by no means proficient in any area of skydiving and dabbling in disciplines, though fun, does have a way of keeping progression in freeflying, belly flying, wingsuiting, etc at a bit of a slower pace.
On top of that, every skydive is a learning experience, so I’m a true believer in each and every jumper always being a “student” in the sport. Of course, I do understand the request, and I did a bit of polling of other skydivers so I can provide a heartier post than just spewing learnings from my own experiences.
Let’s start with the obvious:
Never stop thirsting for knowledge: If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you need to crave the learning experience. Skydiving is, at times, very fucking humbling. But, if you’re open to it, you can really learn something about yourself in the process. It’s not all about figuring out how to stick a sitfly and dock with your fellow jumpers – it’s deeper than that – having an open mind will allow you to take all that in.
Not only that, the thirst for knowledge helps keep things exciting and novel. Sure, I may not be the best belly flyer at 300 skydives, and by now I probably should have my head down dialed in, but I’ve enjoyed the learning experience that comes along with new disciplines. I like perfecting my canopy skills, I love jumping in a wingsuit for a fun flock, keeping things fresh helps me stay in that wide-eyed, giddy phase that most jumpers are in just off student status.
Be flexible: This one is two-fold. Physically, I can’t recommend enough that you stretch, do yoga, pilates, whatever you have to in order to stay flexible. Flexibility allows you more opportunity to manipulate the air in different ways – it gives you more options. And, it really does help you understand your own body a bit more.
Mental flexibility on the other hand, can be a bit of a challenge at times. A commitment to progress in the sport is important, but don’t be too rigid with yourself on what that progress looks like. For example, if you want to focus on your belly flying skills, that’s great. But don’t tell yourself you absolutely won’t freefly till you have X amount of jumps, because you never know when you might turn away a chance to jump with one of the best because of your rigidity. Ebb and flow with the opportunities that come your way – even goals have a way of finding that flexible balance. Go with it.
Ask more questions: This is a great one from one of my fellow jumpers who is also a coach. Sometimes students are too timid to ask questions, but this is your chance. People expect it. When you’re on the ground, talk as much as you can to experienced jumpers. Blurt out any question that comes to your mind to your instructors and coaches. Get answers now. There’s no stupid question when you’re a student. But, when you have 100 jumps and you’re just now finding the courage to ask about basic canopy flight mechanics, you might get laughed off the dropzone, or worse, people will refuse to jump with you because they think you’re uneducated and not safe. Plus, knowing all you can as a student only preps you for being as safe a jumper as you can be once you earn that A.
Read, Watch, Admire: Dropzone.com, Blue Skies Magazine, Parachutist, blogs, YouTube videos – the list goes one. Soak up as much knowledge on your own as possible. Take opinions with a grain of salt, but listen to them regardless. This is how you’ll build on your own skills. Find time to read Brian Germain’s book, sign up for a canopy course stat, flip through the SIM if you’re bored one rainy afternoon. The more you can surround yourself with skydiving, the more knowledge you’ll have.
Ask for advice: Norman Kent in town and you’ve got a burning question – ask him. Been admiring Taya’s flocking skills from afar and run into her at a boogie – stop and say hi around the bonfire. Everyone is approachable (usually) as we’ve all been students at one point or another. Advice can come in all forms, but you’ll never get it if you don’t reach out and talk to those who inspire you.
Those are my top 5 at this point – that’s enough out of me. Any other advice from all you fun jumpers out there?
Blue ones!
Ashley
Don’t be afraid to F$^% it up
…because chances are, you will.
One of my favorite sayings of one of my wingusiter friends is, “Don’t F$^% it up!” Hearing that just before a flock always puts a smile on my face.
I like to put a bit of a twist on it though, and remind myself not to be afraid to F- it up. Why? Because the fear of messing up alone is enough to make you mess up. Well, for me anyway.
I’ve come to realize this mantra translates well to other aspects of life too. This is the way I look at it, if I can visualize a skydive on the ground, going just the way I want it to, get in the airplane and jump out at 14,000 ft telling myself not to worry about F-ing up, then I can certainly do that in the rest of my life. After all, asking yourself “what’s the worst that can happen?” has a whole different meaning on the ground that in does in the sky.
In day to day life, what’s the worst that really can happen? Maybe your boss doesn’t like some aspect of the email that you sent to your client and he talks to you about it. But, you learned something right? As long as you weren’t a dumbass and leaked information or told someone where to stick it on company time, you likely didn’t do any damage that can’t be undone – and now next time you know.
With skydiving, it’s a bit different of course, because we all know what the worst that can happen is. BUT, if you look at it piece by piece, say, what’s the worst that can happen if you cork out on that head down? Maybe you’ve lost your chance to get it on that skydive, or you bump into someone, or even kick or get kicked in the face (been there) but so what, it’s all part of the sport, and similar to a work blunder, you learned something.
Here’s my point, being controlled by the fear to mess up is just as bad, if not worse sometimes, than being complacent and too overconfident. Just like in all other aspects of life, I’m a big believer in having a sense of balance. When it comes to safety, there’s no room for complacency, but overcoming challenges won’t happen if you let fear stand in your way either.
So, in the air and on the ground, be aware of the risks and acknowledge them, but don’t be afraid to take that next step to tackling challenges and conquering the fear of F-ing it up. Don’t be afraid to ask yourself, “what’s the worst that can happen?” and then be prepared for it.
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
Zen Skydiver
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself in the whirlwind that’s my 20s it’s that yoga is good for my soul. So is skydiving. These are two things that have continued to hold a spot in my heart, no matter if I’m practicing or not.
Even when I’m unable to attend yoga classes, for one reason or another, my practice hasn’t stopped. The principles of yoga seep into my daily life, and only serve in helping me improve – in all aspects of life.
Progression in a sport like skydiving has a lot to do with overcoming fear (well, for me anyway). Skydiving has this way of throwing the reality of your own mortality in your face. Each jumper has their own way of dealing with this, from acknowledging the fear and consciously leaving it in the door on the way out of the airplane, to using their self-confidence to know that they have the ability to save their own life time and time again. Some even get cocky and complacent, of course this is not the recommended path for continuing in the sport.
Others, have more difficulty acknowleding their own fear – often feeling that it’s a sign of weakness – and therefore experience mental challenges in moving past this fear. This is where, in my life, yoga has come into play. That 10 minute ride to altitude becomes a meditation session, a time to reflect on the fear, visualize your perfect skydiving, and channel the power that lives behind that into your performance – into being your best.
It’s not as easy as it sounds. One thing I’ve found is that practicing yoga on the ground, meditating on everything from skydiving to your other hopes, dreams and fears can help make this practice feel more natural – make it something you crave on the way to altitude.
Of course, being a zen skydiver is just one way to deal with the fear, the butterflies that come along with an adrenaline sport. But, it’s the one that seems to work best for me, so I thought I’d share in the knowledge just a little bit. Regardless, I can’t stress the importance of acknowledging your feelings, whatever they might be, in order to move past the mental blocks and perform your best.
Love and Blues Skies!
Ashley
Superiority complex
As sort of a follow up to my last post about why we’re here and what we’re doing this for, I’d like to take a moment to talk about an issue that’s been weighing on my mind a bit.
The Skydiver Superiority Complex. Now, I’m not talking about those people who rag on other people within the sport – like freeflyers who think their better than belly flyers or wingsuiters who claim “this ain’t no head down bitches!” (one of my favorite lines, btw), as most of this is said in jest, giving others crap around the dropzone – it can be a favorite past time.
What I’m talking about are those jumpers out there who think that, simply because they are skydivers, they are superior to everyone else in life. Like skydiving is this club that, until you’ve gotten in you’re just not cool enough.
Sure, I’ll be the first to admit that skydiving has this way of changing your perspective on life, but that doesn’t mean that, in order to get the most out of life you MUST skydive. Certainly, I’d love to have all my friends experience what freefall is like, to understand the change that this sport can bring about in your way of approaching the world, but that certainly doesn’t mean I think that I’m better at life than those who haven’t jumped – that’s just pure foolishness.
Too often I hear skydivers, especially the newbies, talking about how they just didn’t get the meaning of life until their first skydive. That until you save your own life, you just can’t understand what it means to truly live. Well, here’s the reality of the situation – just because YOU didn’t get how to fully embrace life until you experienced flight, doesn’t mean others don’t get it.
I mean, sure, if you grew up in a middle class family (or above) that sent you to college and you’ve either been in school or working on your career since then there’s a good chance you fall into this category (I certainly did). But I know plenty of people who had different paths who, most likely, know the value of living just as much, if not more, than I do.
I guess the questions here is, do you really think you’re superior to others now that you’ve fell from 14,000 and successfully saved your own life, or is it that you just encourage everyone else to seek out this opportunity as well, but you have a really strange way of conveying it? I’d like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt on this one and say the latter, but I truly believe there are people out there “knowing” and speaking of their superiority because skydiving has become their favorite past time. And for all those, there are an equal number of rock climbers and motorcyclists and other extreme sports junkies scoffing because in reality, their sport is a whole hell of a lot more dangerous than ours.
Next time you think about opening your mouth about how someone just can’t know what living is until they jump out of an airplane, maybe take two seconds to remind yourself that you have no idea what others have been through in their life, and there’s a good chance they know so much more about life than you. Instead, swap some life stories – you might actually learn something interesting about them.
Love and Blue Skies!
Ashley
What it’s all about
When I talk about skydiving, with skydivers and whuffos alike, sometimes I can’t help but step back from the conversation to wonder what it’s all about. Thing is, when you’re a skydiver, or painter or writer, or whatever it is that gets you out of bed in the morning, there’s something deep down that’s driving you.
Listening to skydivers chatter on incessently about how great they are can seem like fingernails on a chalkboard to even the most interested audience. One thing to remember though, is that it’s not just that we like to hear our own voices go on and on about ourselves – though so often that is also true – it’s that we have a true passion for this sport.
It’s easy to get caught up in the madness of a dropzone, the drama and politics that come along with a group of highly connected, type-A personalities who are all working toward the same goal. Thing about that goal is this – you’re truly only fighting with yourself to get there. And I think that’s what I like most about this sport. If you’re good enough, and you practice enough and you put enough of your heart and soul into it, you can get exactly where you want to be.
For some, they crave the ability to be instructors – to get their ratings in order to give back to the community some of what they were given as young pups in the sport. For others, they are focused on getting invited to that next big way invitational. Others spend hours in the tunnel in the off season and bucko bucks when it’s nice out to get extra coaching needed in order to compete at nationals. And some of us just want to be good enough in our discipline to know that on every jump we’ll be a part of the formation and can keep on having a blast! Whatever the goal is, most of us out here have one, or two, or three – all of which include a desire to improve ourselves.
So, it’s not just about being on a record or being the “best” or even having trained with the “best,” but it’s about being your best, and really making something out of the passion in your heart. If that wasn’t the case, I can guarantee 90% of us wouldn’t be here in the first place.
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
A look at Gen Y from the inside
I recently stumbled across a blog post about Generation Y. My guess is most of you have seen some commentary on our generation from time to time. How we 20-somethings are all self-absorbed, career-minded kids with entitlement issues. And though I’m not about to say that isn’t accurate (at least 50% of the time), it’s refreshing to see someone looking at our generation from a different angle.
In this article, Penelope Trunk dives into 5 characteristics that Gen Y “doesn’t know about themselves.” Though I think there’s so much accuracy to what she says here, I do have to argue the overall premise for a sec, before I take a look at just how much this applies (well, to me anyway).
One theme of this article is that Gen Yers are generally self-absorbed to the point where they treat themselves and their online personas as if they were of the celebrity variety. But I’d like to argue that this type of attitude goes beyond just those who were born in the years that now categorize them as Generation Y.
As someone who spends a decent amount of time practicing a highly ego-centric sport, I see attitudes like this come from all walks of life. It’s not just the upper-middle class 20-somethings who think they’re hot shit because they have 1,000+ Twitter followers. No matter where you look, people of all ages are out there talking themselves up, becoming part of a group in hopes of setting a world record (my hand is raised here) or posting pictures of themselves doing something cool on Facebook. Hell, if you look the Facebook statistics these days, more Baby Boomers and Gen Xers are out there Lifebooking each and every day. So I’m not entirely sure it’s fair to stereotype Gen Y with having an ego complex, when it’s quite clear that this spans a number of generations.
That said, I’m all about self-awareness, and I love to read pieces like this that make me sit back and go, “ha, I’m TOTALLY like that!” After all, if you can’t acknowledge your flaws, how are you ever supposed to improve?
Which brings me to the last point I’d like to argue (I swear, I really do think her post was incredibly accurage, you’ll see), and it’s this: The title of ”What Generation Y doesn’t know about themselves” strikes a bit of a nerve with me, mostly because of what you’re about to read below. Although many 20-somethings have these or other similar undesirable traits, how can one assume that means they must not know they have them? We’re all a work progress as human beings, and (hopefully anyway) most of us are working toward smoothing out the rough spots and picking up good habits along the way; none of which happens over night. So yes, I am flawed. And yes, I have a number of the flaws listed in her article, and so do thousands of other 20-somethings like me, but that certainly doesn’t mean we’re oblivious to ourselves. After all, self reflection must come before self improvement, no?
Off my soapbox now, and onto a little Gen Y bashing, shall we?
Okay, so not really, but I do want to dissect Ms. Trunk’s thoughts a bit and show, by personal example, how much of what she has to say is f-ing spot on. I’m going to paraphrase the content from her article, as I’m not here to regurgitate her thoughts and you’re all big boys and girls who are completely capable to reading it for yourself if you so choose. I’d like to examine a few specific mentions from the article now, rather than the overall premise – so here goes:
* The conservative nature of Gen Y often leads to a group that croudsources in order to make decision. YELL YES. As a blogger who talks about all kinds of things, including providing insight on positive and negative experiences with products and services (reviews, if you will) I’m a big believer in utilizing the knowledge of others in order to make the best decision for yourself. Learn from other’s mistakes, learn from their fortunes.
BUT, I do agree that this has a tendency, if you’re not careful, to lead to a need to get approval from others before making any decision at all. Until recently, I consulted my parents on just about every life decision I made. I even needed approval from them on choice of my next apartment to live in (if they didn’t love the layout like I did, forget about it). A little independent thought can go a long way in realizing that you can make decisions for yourself that will result in a positive outcome, you just have to sack up and do it. To this day, I still struggle, but I truly believe this is one of those baby steps kinda deals where you just have to learn to do it over time. The more good decisions you make on your own, the more you’re able to decide without stewing on it for ages. Practice the art of decision-making, or whatever.
* So consumed with self-image they’d rather LOOK like winners more than BE winners. Hello Facebook photos that flatter, in whatever way you’re going for. Blogs that allow you to speak incessantly about yourself, to feel good about your thoughts and have your ego stroked by your followers (and allows you to moderate out negative comments from those who may not think you’re all that). I’m on board with all that! In fact, she even mentions not having the money for a wedding and eloping to save funds while spending what you do have on photography to make it look awesome. I’m so on board with eloping to save $$ – though I’m not sure how that has much to do with my self-image. Regardless, I do think our generation is lacking when it comes to risk taking. I know plenty of my peers who blame that on their parents for raising them to be conservative, career-minded individuals who are constantly striving to be financially independent and stable before they do anything with remote excitement, but c’mon folks, let’s go back to point 1 here – have some independent thought and just do it.
*Gen Y Misunderstand entrepreneurship. I couldn’t agree with this more! So many times I’ve seen friends quit their jobs after 1, 2 even 5 years of experience to go out on their own, only to come back to corporate America months later. With little to no leadership experience and no team around you to continue showing you the way day in and day out, I can’t imagine what it’s like to go out on your own at such an early age. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not bashing here, not in the slightest, more power to you if you can do it and pull it off. What I’m saying here is that yes indeed, as Penelope indicates, I’m much more comfortable with the security that my company provides – that and the awesome team of people I get to share my work day with. I’m a lucky gal in that sense.
So those are my big three – I’m choosing to leave the last two alone because I go in swings from being uber practical to “hello dumbass, where was your head on that one,” and I don’t talk religion.
Let’s hear it out there guys, what do you think about Gen Y, this article by Penelope Trunk, or my response to it.
Cheers y’all!
-A
Flying through the fear
Fear is one of those things that we skydivers are facing each time we exit that airplane door. I don’t care how ballsy you are, this sport is still scary from time to time. If it’s not, you might want to do some internal searching as to why – have you become complacent? Do you think you’re that much of a badass that it just can’t happen to you?
Simple food for thought for all daredevils out there, not the point of this post.
Fear can be a good and a bad thing. Fear is good because it puts your senses on high alert – right where they need to be for a sport like skydiving. It keeps you focused on the goal. Fear also challenges you. Working through fear to get to a positive end result can help you grow as a person. You learn what you’re truly capable of – that’s good stuff.
But, fear can get so intense at times it’s crippling. How many times has fear gotten in the way of your goal in life? For me, I’m finding that fear is standing in my way of accomplishing my current wingsuiting goals. I want nothing more than to be right there with the flock, flying in to take a dock, but I’m fearful of a collision. What if I’m not precise and I take out my fellow wingsuiter? Of course, it’s not just for lack of self-confidence in my flocking skills (though, I do have a bit of that going on), flying at that speed is scary, especially when you’ve got a handful or more of other flyers at that speed to worry about.
So, how to get past that? Well, honestly, that’s what I’m trying to figure out. I’m a zen skydiver of sorts, having an extensive background in practicing yoga, so I’m giving meditation a shot. Really focusing on the fear and how to not let my mind get in the way during a skydive. This does tend to be difficult though, as the fear is only there moments before the jump. Maybe meditation on the plane ride to altitude is the ticket?
I do know that in order to progress I need to hurdle this fear, or maybe channel it in a productive way – use the fear to get to that next step?
This is definitely a question I’m posing to the group. How have you overcome your fear, in any aspect of life, in order to come out on the other side, more successful than you imagined?
Love and Blue Skies!
Ashley
Overcoming tough challenges
If there’s one thing I know about life, it’s that the learning never stops. Life has this way of teaching you how to be better, how to keep going through the toughest times, how to live the best life you can. Most importantly, life has this way of showing you how to live the life you believe in.
Lately, I’ve been finding that, as I work through situations that seems stressful and even scary up front, simple solutions tend to shine their light, if you look hard enough.
Difficult as it may be, sometimes you just have to take time to work through the scary situations to see what’s on the other side – and from what I’ve seen lately, more times than not, it’s a positive outcome. You just have to allow yourself time to work through the challenges, to find the courage to leap the obstacles that life throws at you along the way, to get to the other side safely.
How does all this life lesson babble relate to skydiving you ask? Well, no matter where you are in your skydiving career, a seasoned jumper who is always looking for that next awesome swoop technique, an intermediate freeflyer working on their head down skills in hopes of being invited on that next record attempt, or you’re just beginning AFF and finding climbing out of the plane to be a challenge in itself, the concept applies.
Give yourself some time when a challenge presents itself, calm your nerves, work through the fear and stay open to the possibilities. A positive outlook usually breeds a positive outcome.
Love and Blue Skies!
Ashley