Following your dreams
You have to follow your own dreams in life, not the dreams that others have for you. Denying yourself to appease others is simply a waste of a life, if you ask me.
Now, I’m not going to lie, those statements are bold, and truth be told, I’m writing this more as a reminder to myself than anyone else.
Of course, this does not mean that you should live your life with blatant disregard for others, nor does it mean that you shouldn’t go out of your way to help others – hell, I’m a big believer in helping others to make your life even more fulfilling (ahem, Jump for Diabetes)- but, to ignore your own desire and dreams to please others is a waste.
No matter what you believe, if there is or isn’t something bigger and better waiting for us on the other side, it’s important to live in the here and now, as if this is all we’ve got. And, making the most of life is about following your dreams, living your passions, knowing when to say no, following that gut feeling that, if you’re truly honest with yourself, is usually right. Sometimes, this means letting go of one thing to let in another.
Only you can make your dreams come true. Only you can look out for your best interests all the time. Only you hold the key to living the life you believe in, that life you envision for yourself.
I’ve come to find, in my life anyway, that sometimes fear gets in the way of your dreams – sometimes that fear is simply letting someone down, sometimes it’s bigger, like losing an important aspect of your life. But the truth is, you have to trust in your gut. This is something that, as skydivers, we know all too well.
Jumping out of an airplane goes against everything your body is telling you is right. Falling is not comfortable for the human brain. Think about it, how many times have you woke from a dream with a start because of a vision of falling? Can you even count? I can’t.
It’s not natural. But, those of us who choose this path know in our gut that it’s the right thing for us, even when our bodies shoot out all kinds of signals that tell us to stop, this isn’t safe, it’s not natural.
A leap of faith, some would say, knowing that our training, our skills and those around us who we choose to jump with will keep us safe.
So why then, are there moments where simply disappointing someone in our lives can be such a scary thought that we’re willing to put our own dreams, our own wants, on the back burner in order to appease those close to us? Why is it that some decisions seem so difficult even though, deep down, we know exactly what path we want to take?
Tell me I’m not alone in this – I can’t be the only person out there who struggles with the balance between following my own dreams, living out the dreams others have for me and helping to make the dreams of those in my life come true.
It’s baby steps, I guess, to making the right decisions. It may not always be exactly what I want, or exactly what those in my life want, but it’s got to be for the greater good. Following gut feelings may disappoint others from time to time, but isn’t not following them an even greater disappointment to yourself?
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
p.s. I think this song really captures some of these sentiments:
Revival
If 2011 was a year of learning and growth, then I predict 2012 to be a year of revival. Not only in the “I’m going to revive those parts of my life that have become stagnant for one reason or another” but also in the sense that bygones will really become bygones, giving way to new, incredible things.
For those who don’t know me that well in real life, I’m a rather sensitive type. When life takes me down a path I would prefer not to have travelled, I tend to hold on to feelings of loss for what could have been.
In the past year or two I came to understand that life doesn’t always go the way you plan, and it’s not because “bad things just happen,” it’s because changes need to occur in order for life to open bigger doors for new opportunities. You can’t have everything and everyone in your life, so sometimes, circumstances must change in order for your life to progress.
That said, I want to speak candidly for a second about what brought me to this blog post in the first place. This morning I woke from a very strange dream filled with people from my distant past. Naturally, as someone who spends 10+ hours in social media would do, I did some poking around Facebook to check in on the lives of some old high school pals who appeared in my out-of-the-blue dream.
Seeing how nearly a decade has changed people, where they’re living, and what they’re up to was fun! Until, I came across something that punched me in the gut. My former best friend of 20 years got married in September and I didn’t even know it. We became estranged a few years back over something incredibly petty. After not speaking for a couple months I called to apologize for the things I said during that argument, hoping to make what was wrong, right, but unfortunately I was too late. I held on to the dream that she would call me back, missing me in her life as much as I missed her, but that day never came.
One day I realized that, though we spent most of our childhood as neighbors and friends, it just wasn’t meant to be as adults – the world had something better planned for us both.
Though I’m not going to lie, she still has a place in my heart and has remained in the back of my head since that very day.
Problem is, I haven’t really forgiven her for leaving me. I needed that closure, for someone so close had suddenly left with no explanation. But if I was honest with myself, it wasn’t closure that I needed, I simply wasn’t ready to let go of that part of my life.
Looking back, my journey through early adulthood would have been much less of a struggle if I would have moved on and let in new people and new opportunities to fill the void that was left, but I just wasn’t ready to do that, I wanted my friend by my side.
Now, I am ready. Having seen her wedding photos today made me see that she’s happy, and put a smile on my face knowing that we are both happy, even if we don’t get to share in that together.
Of course, this is just one example of the type of revival I’m referring to. There have certainly been other losses and failures (many of which have been countered by gains and successes, as life naturally tends to do) in my life since that day, some of which still surfaces from time to time, with sorrowful feelings. Today, I’m leaving all that behind.
Living with sadness over a loss or hiding from a failure (whether personal or professional) is no way to live. At some point, time has to do it’s healing, but you have to be willing to let it. Believe it or not you hold the key to having a healthy life – letting go of the past to move forward is a positive first step toward solid mental health. Today, I’m putting my emotional boo boos in times hand and opening my life to the new opportunities that lie ahead. I can’t wait to see what’s next.
How do you see revival fitting into your life in 2012?
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
Kicking off a new year
Little reminders (to myself) for making this the best year yet.
Getting back into the swing of things after the holidays can be awkward. Either emails piled up at work or they didn’t – so much so that you’ve either got your hands full for days of catching up or you’re not really sure where to begin because there are no fires to put out.
Your usual gym routine is all thrown off because of the resolutioners who have flooded in and have taken over the machines with little regard for their fellow iron-pumper.
Now, there’s two ways to approach this transition of getting back into the swing of things. You can sulk that the time away is over and do just what is needed to get by until life gets itself back on track, or you can take the proverbial bull by the horns and make something of this new year.
Even though we are only on day two of 2012, I like to think this year is already off to a great start. Having the first couple days off to be productive at home definitely helps the transition, but here’s how I look at this. With a new year comes new opportunities – but positive effects from new opportunities can only come from the choices you make.
Think about it: how many big opportunities come your way simply sitting on the couch as you dread heading back to work? How much really gets accomplished by watching life lead itself?
Not many, if any, in my experience.
Life is short and precious, and for all we know, we only get one shot at this. So (cliche as it may be) why not live every day as if it’s your last, rather than watching others live theirs. Too much TV can make us lazy at life. Too much Facebook can make us lazy in our social world. But these are only scape goats. The truth is, we make the decision every day whether we are going to live our lives to their fullest. Take advantage of good health while you have it – you never know when it won’t be here anymore. Enjoy the time you spend with your friends and family. Make an effort to be a good person, every day. Keep a close eye on your own needs and wants – you’ll be thankful you followed your heart and your dreams rather than always doing the practical thing.
Live a life you believe in, the one you want to live – the only thing stopping you is yourself.
Live life, or it will go on without you.
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
Reflecting and resolving
The week between Christmas and New Year’s always seems a bit like limbo – the family holidays have ended, yet the new year hasn’t quite begun yet. I find that, for myself anyway, this week tends to be a time of reflection and goal setting.
I’m not one of those people who, year after year, resolves to do the same things (like lose weight, eat better, quit smoking/drinking, etc) and gets fed up 1 month in and puts that goal off for another year. I like to use the learnings from the past year to formulate my goals, that may be accomplished in 2012, but may also be longer-term goals that’ll stick with me a while.
That said, I’d like to take a look at my resolutions from last year and see how I did.
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Be Honest: with myself and those around me. Make it known what I want, then work out a compromise if it doesn’t match others that are involved.
Success! Though, I do have to admit that I still struggle with this one. I’m a giver, I like to make sure others are happy, but I’ve taken great strides in making sure I’m happy too.
Write more.
Success! Well, mostly. I took some time off from this here blog to get my head around where I wanted my writing to go, and I think that time off provided great insight that was needed to continue my writing in a positive way.
Make yoga and meditation a priority.
Fail. My year started out rough, like really rough, and I lost sight of this part of taking care of myself. It was enough of a struggle to get myself to eat sometimes, let alone take the time to meditate about life. So, we’ll try again this year.
Photography: be better about capturing memories on photo.
Fail. I don’t have any good reason for this. But, I did just open my Etsy shop here: http://photohut.etsy.com. So hopefully that’ll jumpstart my drive to keep up with my photography.
Relax.
Fail, then success. Until about May I was wound tighter than I’ve ever been, but after starting a new gig and planning my incredible wedding, I learned to not worry so much. Those who know me in person would be incredibly impressed with how relaxed I was as a bride – and in turn, the day was perfect!
Wear more jewelry.
Success. Kinda. Aside from my engagement ring and wedding band, I typically wear my closing pin along with an om symbol pendant around my neck, the occasional right hand ring, and always my diamond studs (a gift from my parents that I rarely remove). What can I say, I think I’m just a basic kinda girl.
_______________
Looking back on this year, it was a HUGE time of growth for me. It was the first year of marriage that was celebrated by our wonderful wedding with friends and family just outside of Chicago. I adopted a dog who taught me just what unconditional love is. I’ve learned what kind of person I truly am, and am still in the process of learning how to share that with others.
More than anything I learned that the human spirit can overcome great obstacles. It was a rough year for my family, having lost a number of wonderful souls who will forever impact the way I live my life.
As 2011 comes to a close, I find myself walking toward 2012 with much hope, a positive attitude and a smile on my face. It’s going to be a great year!
So what about the resolutions, you might ask? Well, you’ll just have to swing by tomorrow for part 2, where I’ll outline my goals (thanks to all I’ve learned this past year) for 2012.
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
My life as a television show
Do you ever feel like you’re watching your life unfold as if it’s a television show?
That’s how my life feels right now.
And I don’t like it. Not. One. Bit.
Not so much because of what’s happening, though I could do without a few of these situations, honestly, but more that I feel so out of control. Let’s be honest, I’m about as type A as they come. I’m not one to sit around and let my life fall into whatever place it’s going to fall. I prefer to be at the drivers seat – to know I at least have some sense of control over my destiny.
Right now, control seems to have slipped from my grasp. And it’s terrifying. I wish I were skydiving…that’s much less terrifying of a ride.
I want nothing more than to gain even the tiniest bit of control back – give me a wheel to turn, a button to push to make it all go away, or at least a break so I can slow this train down for a minute.
Yes, I’m fully aware that this is sometimes how life unfolds, there’s just enough surprise to keep you on your toes and let you know that you’re not always in control, but this feeling of being outside my own life, looking in, isn’t flying with me.
The surprising thing is, even though this blog post, after re-reading it sounds a bit alarming, I’m actually handling it pretty well. Normally, I’d be a basket case, with constant worry over what’s happening, what’s not, what’s going to happen next, how to deal with it, etc. But the truth is, I’m not really worried.
Maybe it’s because I’ve spent countless hours worrying and it doesn’t do any good. Maybe I finally learned that lesson? Doubtful. I think a lot of it has to do with my marriage, dumb as it sounds. I have never been this happy in my entire life, and having someone to share your life with, also means having someone with whom to share the burdens of life. He’s keeping me sane, keeping me grounded, supporting every decision I need to make along the way. As a single person I used to scoff at my married friends who would say “I just don’t know what I would do without him,” but now that I’m here, I truly don’t know what I would do without him.
Looking at our wedding photos is something I’m really enjoying lately. Not sure if it has anything to do with the craziness going on around me, but it’s comforting and, I gotta say, we look damn good in them. Check ‘em out for yourself here.
Aside from that, I’m doing everything in my power to keep my hands firmly grasped on my career. Lack of control will not be an issue here, if I have anything to say about it.
So tell me, am I alone here? Has anyone else ever felt like they were watching their life on TV?
Blue ones!
Ashley
Time to hang it up?
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about hanging up my career as a blogger. It’s something that’s been a part of my life since 2003, when blogging was essentially online journaling and less of a “trend,” if you want to call it that.
Blogging holds a special place in my heart. Writing has always been an outlet for me. It’s cathartic to sit down and type out your thoughts, opinions, emotions – on any subject that might tickle your fancy (do people still say that?).
When I started SkydiveChick.com in 2009 it was because I was incredibly passionate about the sport – and I still am to this day. I wanted to share it with the world. I wanted this site to be a destination for anyone interested in hearing about skydiving from someone who does it on a regular basis. It was, and continues to be, as I get about an email a week from people who stumble upon the blog and want to know more about the sport. It’s heartwarming to know that I have inspired others to jump into this sport (no pun intended), or provided guidance to students and other fun jumpers in the sport – it’s also quite flattering. *Blushes*
Of course, that was never an intended purpose of the blog, but I’d be lying if I said my audience didn’t keep me coming back to write on a regular basis.
Since the birth of SkydiveChick so many changes have occurred in my life – I graduated AFF, started traveling to boogies, switched from RW to freeflying, met my husband, started wingsuiting, moved to Chicago, switched careers, switched dropzones, adopted a dog, got married and now I’m staring the 3rd winter since I started skydiving in the face – and let me tell you, Chicago winters are the worst. Through the whirlwind that my life has been these past two years, I can honestly say my outlook on life as well as my lifestyle has changed – and I really want my creative outlets to mesh with these changes. I’m happier than I’ve ever been and I’ve got some great goals for my near and not-so-near future, but where does blogging fit into that mix? Do I want to continue focusing on skydiving, or is it time to make SkydiveChick more of a lifestyle destination? Given that my life isn’t just about skydiving, shouldn’t my blog reflect that?
One thing that hasn’t changed is my desire to write. With my daily commute via public transportation I’ve been lucky to have extra time (not spent behind the wheel every morning and evening) to do some reading, which actually makes me want to write more. However, with everything that’s changed, I find my time for blogging just isn’t as available as it once was. Which brings me to my dilemma – to write or not to write.
I’ve taken quite a few weeks off, as you’ve likely noticed, but it’s been much needed. I still must admit that I’m unsure if I’ll be returning to blogging at SkydiveChick on a regular basis, or if this return will be short lived. I guess it’ll depend on how this feels – because as much as I love knowing that my writing is benefiting others, I have to think about what that means for my writing as a creative outlet. If I find that my return to the blogoshere continues to be a mutually beneficial experience, then you can count on my regular blogs posts once again. If it becomes a burden on my creativity, then you might just have to settle for Twitter updates and the occasional witty Facebook post. Of course, if I do start to disappear again, you might just find more of my work over on my Flickr page.
I guess we’ll just have to see where life takes me.
Blue skies!
Ashley
p.s. – a couple pictures from my recent wedding below (for those who are interested). Thanks to Ms. Amanda Huebner for being our wonderful photographer on our special day!
My Favorite Things
For the last month or so I’ve been using Pintrest to tag everything from home decor to tattoo ideas that I love. It’s a great social networking tool to give you ideas for just about anything you can think up. See a shirt you like online, pin it and put it on your “fashion” board to remind you to pick something similar up the next time you go shopping.
It’s addicting, to say the least.
It is also what inspired me to write this post today. As I mentioned before, time is limited right now between moving, business travel and my wedding in a week, so anything that does transpire here on the blog is pretty much a direct brain dump – not that I have much of a filter anyhow.
So Pintrest got me thinking about things that I love. It also made me realize that simpler is better. I’ve never been one to love clutter, though I sometimes find myself surrounded by it. I guess I could say it’s helping me figure out how to simplify a bit, too.
Below is a list, because that’s easiest, of a few things I’ve learned that I really appreciate in life:
1. Big, bold pieces of art
2. Uncomplicated relationships
3. Basic colors with a splash of brightness (read: black, white, grey and teal)
4. Classic clothing with a hint of delicate detail
5. Yogi tea with a hint of natural honey
6. Trader Joe’s sweet red win ($4.99 bitches)
8. Writing with a dog at your feet.
9. Reading quietly
10. Sunshine and skydiving
I think number 10 goes without saying here, but I wanted to have a round 10 – is that a little OCD of me?
Anyhow, there’s not much purpose here other than finding joy in the simple things in life. I’m not sure I’d classify skydiving as “simple” but I would say it’s pure, raw emotion that’s generated through natural body responses – and for most of us, it’s an incredibly freeing experience.
What are some of your favorite things?
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
Being something vs. being someone
I think we as individuals sometimes have a hard time distinguishing between wanting to be someone and wanting to be something.
Growing up, everyone always asks us what we want to “be” as adults. Some kids say firefighters or teachers (because they have no idea at the time that saying nuclear physicist is actually the more profitable answer), in my day it was marine biologist – that must have been a trend for kids from Michigan who liked animals and wanted an excuse to move to Florida.
From the time we start school we’re encouaged to try to be someone – to be successful and make something of our lives.
Then, the Internet came crashing down around us. Our entire lives consumed by technology and a constant need to stay connected. After all, if you’re more than 5 feet away from your iPhone at any given time you won’t be in the “know.” (Note: this is pretty accurate, actually, given the amount of information there is to consume these days.)
At the beginning, everyone who had something to say was a thought leader. Now, independent thought seems to be overshadowed by the immense amount of sharing that’s going on. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, I share quite frequently when I see a piece of information that I think my friends/family/contacts would be interested to know about.
What you’re also seeing a lot of these days are people who are out there not just trying to be someone, through thoughtful, meaningful actions, but who want to be something – the self-proclaimed “experts” of the world, if you will.
That’s what you see most of on the web, people who are the social media blogger, the person with the most followers on Twitter, whatever. It’s more about what they have become in status than who they are as a person. You see variations of this in real life too, where people want to be the athlete, the inventor, the skydiver, but sometimes I wonder if people lose a bit of themselves in the process of becoming someTHING.
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a statement I’m making, it’s more of a broad question. DO people lose themselves in the race to become better, faster, stronger than their “opponents.” Does life become individual competition, rather than a team sport?
Given that my occupation, my livelihood depends on the existence of social media, I see my fair share of comments, posts, conversations that make me ponder this even further. Some days there’s this air of complete and total community – everyone is out to help everyone else in their lives. Sharing is about providing assistance to others, to truly share, rather than providing information in order to be the “expert.” Other days, it seems all everyone can talk about is themselves, and how great they are, and where they’ve gotten, despite who they had to walk over to get there.
Granted, I see a very small sliver of the overall picture, but I can’t help but wonder, if sometimes, people really do get so wrapped up in being something, they’ve forgotten what it’s like to be someone: themselves.
Cheers!
Ashley
Sometimes, life is hard
I feel like this goes without saying, but lately I’ve encountered a few people (inside the skydiving world, and out) who act as if the world owes them.
Let me explain.
Some people go through life and it’s relatively easy – they have things handed to them, they don’t have to jump through the same hoops that others have to (for one reason or another) – all in all, they’re skating by because life has always been just a bit too easy.
Then one day, it’s not. One day, they wake up and have to work for what they want, and it’s appalling. Can’t say I’d blame anyone for being shocked when the life has been served to them on a silver platter suddenly takes a turn, but I do wish they’d take a step back for a second and look at where they are and how they got there.
(Editor’s Note – I’m not talking about life-changing events such as serious injury, illness, or another situation that completely turns a person’s world on end. My reference here is to stumbles in the road that we all encounter from time to time such as issues at work, disagreements with family and friends, things of that nature. I’m not here to judge – especially those who have encountered devastation in their lives – only to offer up a bit of advice from my experiences.)
Life isn’t always easy. Sure, I’ve had my fair share of pain-free moments that should have been much more of a struggle, but then again, I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am in life. I’m proud of that, as should anyone else who has put forth significant effort to get where they are in their career, skydiving, or whatever else is driving their lives. It speaks to character.
But the fact is, walking around, bitching about the circumstances that aren’t ideal, complaining that your life isn’t going the way you’d like it to because of the environment around you, essentially blaming everyone and everything for you “misfortunes,” isn’t doing you any good either. If you don’t like something, change it. If someone or something is holding you back, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate the role that person, place or thing plays in your life. If it’s worth it, fight to keep it. If it’s not, figure out what is and insert that into your life. Take action other than sitting around complaining that you haven’t, you can’t, you won’t because the current situation isn’t exactly as you envisioned. Of course, this type of change typically doesn’t happen over night, either, so have a little patience with yourself and your positive outlook – it’s not always easy, but it will pay off in the end.
So for those of you out there who are coming across your first stumbles in the road of life, pick yourself up and face the challenge head on. I can promise you, in the end, it’s not as hard as you might think, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll learn something valuable along the way.
*stepping down from my soapbox now*
Blue ones!
Ashley
Channeling your passion
Sports like skydiving take a special type of motivation to keep going – it’s best described, in my mind, as channeled passion. Let me explain.
Like most things in life, there’s a huge learning curve in the beginning of skydiving. You’re always jumping, and when you’re not, you’re thinking about it, reading about it, watching videos. Your life turns into skydiving.
But then, something happens. You get comfortable (sorta). You’ve had a few years in the sport, got a few hundred jumps under your belt, been around the community, you know the people, the “types,” you’ve done most of the novelty jumps like horny gorillas and tubes, you’ve jumped more than a dozen aircraft, and you’re fairly comfortable in your skills.
It’s that channeled passion that keeps you going – past this first hump, likely of many, on the road to becoming an advanced skydiver.
A number of skydivers, at this stage, find a discipline they love and focus their love for the sport there. I, on the other hand, have had trouble doing so. Not only that, but let me tell you that bouncing between disciplines as (what I still consider myself to be) a beginner does nothing but slow that learning curve down a bit.
In order to channel your passion, you have to find that spark, that thing that keeps you coming back. Yes, freefall is definitely enough to keep me coming back on a regular basis, but is it enough to drive me to improve my skills? Sometimes a goal is needed – I know lots of 4-way kids who got their start because of a competitive itch – but some of us just don’t have that. Others dabble and one day fall into the discipline that was meant for them (no pun intended).
But sometimes, it just takes a bit of internal reflection to find what is really driving you. Maybe it’s ratings and instructing, maybe it’s competing, maybe it’s a dream to be invited to big-way invitationals, or maybe it’s just a drive to have fun. I definitely fall into the latter category.
Sure, I want to be good. I’d love to be able to do any discipline, any day of the week and keep up with the best of ‘em out there. Realistic without driving myself insane in the process? Nope.
For me, this sport is about recreation, relaxation and truly enjoying myself – stress free. I’ve found all these things throughout my time in this sport, so it’s the fun and pure enjoyment that keeps me coming back for more – and the last thing I need is pressure to be something. But, that’s just me.
I’ll leave the competing and instructing up to those who find their passion is best channeled there. I’m just going to be a kid in the big blue playground.
Love and blue skies!
Ashley