Following your dreams
You have to follow your own dreams in life, not the dreams that others have for you. Denying yourself to appease others is simply a waste of a life, if you ask me.
Now, I’m not going to lie, those statements are bold, and truth be told, I’m writing this more as a reminder to myself than anyone else.
Of course, this does not mean that you should live your life with blatant disregard for others, nor does it mean that you shouldn’t go out of your way to help others – hell, I’m a big believer in helping others to make your life even more fulfilling (ahem, Jump for Diabetes)- but, to ignore your own desire and dreams to please others is a waste.
No matter what you believe, if there is or isn’t something bigger and better waiting for us on the other side, it’s important to live in the here and now, as if this is all we’ve got. And, making the most of life is about following your dreams, living your passions, knowing when to say no, following that gut feeling that, if you’re truly honest with yourself, is usually right. Sometimes, this means letting go of one thing to let in another.
Only you can make your dreams come true. Only you can look out for your best interests all the time. Only you hold the key to living the life you believe in, that life you envision for yourself.
I’ve come to find, in my life anyway, that sometimes fear gets in the way of your dreams – sometimes that fear is simply letting someone down, sometimes it’s bigger, like losing an important aspect of your life. But the truth is, you have to trust in your gut. This is something that, as skydivers, we know all too well.
Jumping out of an airplane goes against everything your body is telling you is right. Falling is not comfortable for the human brain. Think about it, how many times have you woke from a dream with a start because of a vision of falling? Can you even count? I can’t.
It’s not natural. But, those of us who choose this path know in our gut that it’s the right thing for us, even when our bodies shoot out all kinds of signals that tell us to stop, this isn’t safe, it’s not natural.
A leap of faith, some would say, knowing that our training, our skills and those around us who we choose to jump with will keep us safe.
So why then, are there moments where simply disappointing someone in our lives can be such a scary thought that we’re willing to put our own dreams, our own wants, on the back burner in order to appease those close to us? Why is it that some decisions seem so difficult even though, deep down, we know exactly what path we want to take?
Tell me I’m not alone in this – I can’t be the only person out there who struggles with the balance between following my own dreams, living out the dreams others have for me and helping to make the dreams of those in my life come true.
It’s baby steps, I guess, to making the right decisions. It may not always be exactly what I want, or exactly what those in my life want, but it’s got to be for the greater good. Following gut feelings may disappoint others from time to time, but isn’t not following them an even greater disappointment to yourself?
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
p.s. I think this song really captures some of these sentiments:
Channeling your passion
Sports like skydiving take a special type of motivation to keep going – it’s best described, in my mind, as channeled passion. Let me explain.
Like most things in life, there’s a huge learning curve in the beginning of skydiving. You’re always jumping, and when you’re not, you’re thinking about it, reading about it, watching videos. Your life turns into skydiving.
But then, something happens. You get comfortable (sorta). You’ve had a few years in the sport, got a few hundred jumps under your belt, been around the community, you know the people, the “types,” you’ve done most of the novelty jumps like horny gorillas and tubes, you’ve jumped more than a dozen aircraft, and you’re fairly comfortable in your skills.
It’s that channeled passion that keeps you going – past this first hump, likely of many, on the road to becoming an advanced skydiver.
A number of skydivers, at this stage, find a discipline they love and focus their love for the sport there. I, on the other hand, have had trouble doing so. Not only that, but let me tell you that bouncing between disciplines as (what I still consider myself to be) a beginner does nothing but slow that learning curve down a bit.
In order to channel your passion, you have to find that spark, that thing that keeps you coming back. Yes, freefall is definitely enough to keep me coming back on a regular basis, but is it enough to drive me to improve my skills? Sometimes a goal is needed – I know lots of 4-way kids who got their start because of a competitive itch – but some of us just don’t have that. Others dabble and one day fall into the discipline that was meant for them (no pun intended).
But sometimes, it just takes a bit of internal reflection to find what is really driving you. Maybe it’s ratings and instructing, maybe it’s competing, maybe it’s a dream to be invited to big-way invitationals, or maybe it’s just a drive to have fun. I definitely fall into the latter category.
Sure, I want to be good. I’d love to be able to do any discipline, any day of the week and keep up with the best of ‘em out there. Realistic without driving myself insane in the process? Nope.
For me, this sport is about recreation, relaxation and truly enjoying myself – stress free. I’ve found all these things throughout my time in this sport, so it’s the fun and pure enjoyment that keeps me coming back for more – and the last thing I need is pressure to be something. But, that’s just me.
I’ll leave the competing and instructing up to those who find their passion is best channeled there. I’m just going to be a kid in the big blue playground.
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
Padding your logbook
Recently I heard a rumor. Apparently some folks from a dropzone where I used to be regular have taken up talking about others as a favorite past time. Whatever, we all do it. In that, it was stated that a close friend of mine padded their log book.
I’m not sure where the conversation went from there, as I didn’t inquire further because frankly, I don’t really care what people have to say (behind my or my friends backs) unless they’re saying it to my face. Not only that, but the concept is laughable, given that this friend had zero reason to do so (what, with not wanting to get ratings and having started flying camera before 200 jumps anyway…), but it did get me to thinking about the concept of inflating jump numbers.
Skydivers do this for a number of reasons – to speed up the process of getting their ratings (for some you need 100, others 500) or so they can fly a wingsuit or strap a camera to their helmet to catch all the action, both of which the USPA BSRs call for 200 jumps, and is now widely enforced at most dropzones.
That said, what’s it to you if someone does pad their logbook? I mean, say the guy in the plane next to you has 450 skydives, but says he has 500 so he can work toward his Pro rating. Is it that you feel he’s unsafe? Well, if he’s unsafe at 450 jumps then you probably shouldn’t be jumping with him anyway, right? So it’s totally your choice if you want to share the sky with this guy.
And the truth is, you’d be surprised how many people do this. Whether it’s 10 jumps or 100, it happens quite frequently. And so what, they’re only cheating themselves.
It never ceases to amaze me how people – not just in the skydiving world, but in general – can so quickly make someone else’s problem their own. If some dumb newbie wants to “go out of town” and suddenly comes back with 100 jumps to get his coach rating, he’s the one who will have to pay the price, literally, when he doesn’t pass his coach course because he’s not experienced enough.
I’m sure it’s not why you came here this Friday morning, but here’s a little advice for you: focus on yourself, your own skills and your own safety, rather than the numbers in the log books of your fellow jumpers. Worry about yourself and those closest to you, and let everyone else make their own mistakes. Trust me, you’ll be happier in the end.
Blue ones!
Ashley
What I wish I knew
So I’ve been asked to write about what I wish I knew when I got my A-license – “transition from student to fun jumper” as it was so eloquently put. Honestly, that’s a big task because I still see myself as a student. I’m by no means proficient in any area of skydiving and dabbling in disciplines, though fun, does have a way of keeping progression in freeflying, belly flying, wingsuiting, etc at a bit of a slower pace.
On top of that, every skydive is a learning experience, so I’m a true believer in each and every jumper always being a “student” in the sport. Of course, I do understand the request, and I did a bit of polling of other skydivers so I can provide a heartier post than just spewing learnings from my own experiences.
Let’s start with the obvious:
Never stop thirsting for knowledge: If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you need to crave the learning experience. Skydiving is, at times, very fucking humbling. But, if you’re open to it, you can really learn something about yourself in the process. It’s not all about figuring out how to stick a sitfly and dock with your fellow jumpers – it’s deeper than that – having an open mind will allow you to take all that in.
Not only that, the thirst for knowledge helps keep things exciting and novel. Sure, I may not be the best belly flyer at 300 skydives, and by now I probably should have my head down dialed in, but I’ve enjoyed the learning experience that comes along with new disciplines. I like perfecting my canopy skills, I love jumping in a wingsuit for a fun flock, keeping things fresh helps me stay in that wide-eyed, giddy phase that most jumpers are in just off student status.
Be flexible: This one is two-fold. Physically, I can’t recommend enough that you stretch, do yoga, pilates, whatever you have to in order to stay flexible. Flexibility allows you more opportunity to manipulate the air in different ways – it gives you more options. And, it really does help you understand your own body a bit more.
Mental flexibility on the other hand, can be a bit of a challenge at times. A commitment to progress in the sport is important, but don’t be too rigid with yourself on what that progress looks like. For example, if you want to focus on your belly flying skills, that’s great. But don’t tell yourself you absolutely won’t freefly till you have X amount of jumps, because you never know when you might turn away a chance to jump with one of the best because of your rigidity. Ebb and flow with the opportunities that come your way – even goals have a way of finding that flexible balance. Go with it.
Ask more questions: This is a great one from one of my fellow jumpers who is also a coach. Sometimes students are too timid to ask questions, but this is your chance. People expect it. When you’re on the ground, talk as much as you can to experienced jumpers. Blurt out any question that comes to your mind to your instructors and coaches. Get answers now. There’s no stupid question when you’re a student. But, when you have 100 jumps and you’re just now finding the courage to ask about basic canopy flight mechanics, you might get laughed off the dropzone, or worse, people will refuse to jump with you because they think you’re uneducated and not safe. Plus, knowing all you can as a student only preps you for being as safe a jumper as you can be once you earn that A.
Read, Watch, Admire: Dropzone.com, Blue Skies Magazine, Parachutist, blogs, YouTube videos – the list goes one. Soak up as much knowledge on your own as possible. Take opinions with a grain of salt, but listen to them regardless. This is how you’ll build on your own skills. Find time to read Brian Germain’s book, sign up for a canopy course stat, flip through the SIM if you’re bored one rainy afternoon. The more you can surround yourself with skydiving, the more knowledge you’ll have.
Ask for advice: Norman Kent in town and you’ve got a burning question – ask him. Been admiring Taya’s flocking skills from afar and run into her at a boogie – stop and say hi around the bonfire. Everyone is approachable (usually) as we’ve all been students at one point or another. Advice can come in all forms, but you’ll never get it if you don’t reach out and talk to those who inspire you.
Those are my top 5 at this point – that’s enough out of me. Any other advice from all you fun jumpers out there?
Blue ones!
Ashley
Zen Skydiver
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself in the whirlwind that’s my 20s it’s that yoga is good for my soul. So is skydiving. These are two things that have continued to hold a spot in my heart, no matter if I’m practicing or not.
Even when I’m unable to attend yoga classes, for one reason or another, my practice hasn’t stopped. The principles of yoga seep into my daily life, and only serve in helping me improve – in all aspects of life.
Progression in a sport like skydiving has a lot to do with overcoming fear (well, for me anyway). Skydiving has this way of throwing the reality of your own mortality in your face. Each jumper has their own way of dealing with this, from acknowledging the fear and consciously leaving it in the door on the way out of the airplane, to using their self-confidence to know that they have the ability to save their own life time and time again. Some even get cocky and complacent, of course this is not the recommended path for continuing in the sport.
Others, have more difficulty acknowleding their own fear – often feeling that it’s a sign of weakness – and therefore experience mental challenges in moving past this fear. This is where, in my life, yoga has come into play. That 10 minute ride to altitude becomes a meditation session, a time to reflect on the fear, visualize your perfect skydiving, and channel the power that lives behind that into your performance – into being your best.
It’s not as easy as it sounds. One thing I’ve found is that practicing yoga on the ground, meditating on everything from skydiving to your other hopes, dreams and fears can help make this practice feel more natural – make it something you crave on the way to altitude.
Of course, being a zen skydiver is just one way to deal with the fear, the butterflies that come along with an adrenaline sport. But, it’s the one that seems to work best for me, so I thought I’d share in the knowledge just a little bit. Regardless, I can’t stress the importance of acknowledging your feelings, whatever they might be, in order to move past the mental blocks and perform your best.
Love and Blues Skies!
Ashley
Superiority complex
As sort of a follow up to my last post about why we’re here and what we’re doing this for, I’d like to take a moment to talk about an issue that’s been weighing on my mind a bit.
The Skydiver Superiority Complex. Now, I’m not talking about those people who rag on other people within the sport – like freeflyers who think their better than belly flyers or wingsuiters who claim “this ain’t no head down bitches!” (one of my favorite lines, btw), as most of this is said in jest, giving others crap around the dropzone – it can be a favorite past time.
What I’m talking about are those jumpers out there who think that, simply because they are skydivers, they are superior to everyone else in life. Like skydiving is this club that, until you’ve gotten in you’re just not cool enough.
Sure, I’ll be the first to admit that skydiving has this way of changing your perspective on life, but that doesn’t mean that, in order to get the most out of life you MUST skydive. Certainly, I’d love to have all my friends experience what freefall is like, to understand the change that this sport can bring about in your way of approaching the world, but that certainly doesn’t mean I think that I’m better at life than those who haven’t jumped – that’s just pure foolishness.
Too often I hear skydivers, especially the newbies, talking about how they just didn’t get the meaning of life until their first skydive. That until you save your own life, you just can’t understand what it means to truly live. Well, here’s the reality of the situation – just because YOU didn’t get how to fully embrace life until you experienced flight, doesn’t mean others don’t get it.
I mean, sure, if you grew up in a middle class family (or above) that sent you to college and you’ve either been in school or working on your career since then there’s a good chance you fall into this category (I certainly did). But I know plenty of people who had different paths who, most likely, know the value of living just as much, if not more, than I do.
I guess the questions here is, do you really think you’re superior to others now that you’ve fell from 14,000 and successfully saved your own life, or is it that you just encourage everyone else to seek out this opportunity as well, but you have a really strange way of conveying it? I’d like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt on this one and say the latter, but I truly believe there are people out there “knowing” and speaking of their superiority because skydiving has become their favorite past time. And for all those, there are an equal number of rock climbers and motorcyclists and other extreme sports junkies scoffing because in reality, their sport is a whole hell of a lot more dangerous than ours.
Next time you think about opening your mouth about how someone just can’t know what living is until they jump out of an airplane, maybe take two seconds to remind yourself that you have no idea what others have been through in their life, and there’s a good chance they know so much more about life than you. Instead, swap some life stories – you might actually learn something interesting about them.
Love and Blue Skies!
Ashley
Form of Happiness
Have you ever sat and thought about what makes you happy? Like, really thought about it?
In a recent discussion with a friend I grew up with, we were talking about, as a kid, how I loved to re-arrange my bedroom. I would ask my parents to help me so frequently, in fact, it bordered on annoyance. Looking back, I think it was a good opportunity for me to take stock of what I had, throw out what I didn’t need, simplify and organize. Sure, those may be beneficial outcomes, but I also think it’s a trait that shines a bit of a spotlight on my psyche. The need for change.
No, I’m not about to wip out my psych minor knowledge and get all shrinky on you here, but it got my wheels turning about how daily actions can provide insight as to what’s going on internally (inside your brain, I mean).
Take skydivers for instance. Jumping out of airplanes provides us a sense of freedom that we otherwise wouldn’t experience in this life. It’s one of the most freeing experiences (for me, anyway), both physically and mentally. How many times have you heard me say that jumping out of an airplane allows me to leave all my stress and worries in the door, because you really can’t think about much aside from what’s happening in the moment. There’s your mental release. And how much freer can you get physically than to be wind surfing at 14,000 ft above the Earth? I can only imagine doing so naked would feel freer (no, I don’t intend on finding out).
There’s something to be said for our need to experience that kind of freedom. Does that mean that most of us have a craving for independence, a sense of freedom in all other aspects of our lives?
I’d have to vote yes on that one. Let’s look at a few examples:
Relationships: Most skydivers I know are either unattached in their romantic lives, or they’re dating/married to a skydiver – someone who gets them.
Career: I can’t count on my two hands how many jumpers I know that have either gone to great lengths to change their career schedules or changing jobs altogether to gain some additional freedom, allowing for a more flexible schedule, whether it’s to jump or not. Even my hand is raised on this one (oh yeah, did I mention that I quit my job a couple weeks ago? A new opportunity came knocking and I’m at a place where they actually allow you to do what you are good at without looking over your shoulder every second. I know, right? What’s that like? Fucking amazing, that’s what)!
Of course, this still doesn’t explain my need for frequent change, but that might be a topic for another day.
So what do your hobbies say about your psychological needs?
I’d be interested to see a study done about this (yes, I’m kind of a nerd like that). Someone has to have inquired about this before, right?
Love and Blue Ones Kiddies!
-Ashley
Skydiving and Injury
I have a hard time speaking from experience on this one, as I am only in my first few days of injury to have gone through all the phases of grief that one might expect when it comes to being injured to the point of being grounded during the skydiving season, so I’m just going to shoot from the hip (pun intended) a bit and see how this turns out.
So far my skydiving season has started out a bit on the rough side. Between having the nice weather fall on days I’m hunkered down at the office and this hip/back injury that has me couch surfing for a few weeks, I’ve really only had one solid weekend of skydiving.
That said, I’m struggling a bit. With the type of injury I’m enduring (since, I can really only speak from experience here) I have good days and bad. Some days I wake up feeling amazing and then I’ll push myself and then come 6pm I’m laid up on the couch with this burning, tingling sensation all down my left leg. Other days I wake up with pain, rest a while, take some Advil then I’m good to go around lunch time. Still others, are just plain bad.
(Unfortunately, since the diagnosis, I’ve yet to have a completely good day…)
In a situation like this, the better days are tempting – especially when the weather is nice. I mean, I’ve had minimal opportunity to jump this season, so why wouldn’t I just risk it on days where I feel better to get in a little freefall?
Luckily, so far, I’ve been strong enough to remind myself that if I stick with PT for a few weeks and stay out of the sky I’ll have a much better chance of continuing my skydiving career for years to come than if I take one risk and one wrong step on landing to put me 4 giant steps back, or worse.
As someone who tries to be practical, that’s the best advice I can give to anyone who might have a minor injury this season, or in seasons to come. Take a deep breath, enjoy the time with your fellow jumpers (or even off the dropzone) on the ground, knowing that recovery is your first priority so that in seasons to come, jumping can be priority 1 again.
Talk to me again in a few weeks to see if my tune has changed…but for now, that’s the best advice I can give myself, or anyone like me.
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
Own it
Photo by Kevin King http://flickr.com/photos/divemasterking2000
One of the things I love most about skydiving is that it’s a constant learning experience. Even after you master one discipline, there’s always a new challenge on the on the horizon.
I’m a true believer that you can always improve, no matter how good you are at something.
That said, in order to improve, you have to be open to it.
Sometimes our skydiver egos can get the best of us, and rather than taking an objective look at our mistakes and soaking up the knowledge to improve, we throw out excuses to pad our egos.
Sure, nobody likes to cork out their first sit of the year, or be the guy who comes plowing into the formation and takes everyone out. And certainly, no one wants to be the guy who crashes his first landing of the season in front of the whole dropzone (yep, I was that guy this year), but making excuses for these things doesn’t do anything but hurt you, in the long run.
Personally I’ve found that sometimes simply owning your mistakes, acknowledging your areas for improvement, can do more for your ego than sitting around defending yourself while everyone rolls their eyes. So what, you f-ed up…we’re all human!
This time of the year, as we’re all a bit rusty from the long winter months, the learning curve tends to be a bit steeper as we get our wings back. As well all know, muscle memory only lasts for so long, so spring time can require a bit of re-training for those parts of the sport that seemed to come so naturally last fall.
It’s also important to remember that if you are a bit nervous about particular skills after a long period off, it might be best to ease back in with a few easy planned jumps, like 2, 3 or 4 ways. Hell, if you’re really concerned, do a couple solos so you can focus on yourself and get those butterflies out. In the end, no one is going to fault you for being overly cautious and concerned about the safety of yourself and others - especially during the early parts of the season.
Just one more reason to keep the beast that is the skydiver ego at bay – it could save your life.
Blue skies!
Ashley
Deal with it
Now that the skydiving season is in full swing, it’s time to get real about something – lifestyle.
What I mean by that is, figuring out what kind of skydiver you are and coming to grips with that. As the weather warms and many of my friends are out at the dropzone during the week (and tweeting about it, rubbing my sad little face in the fact that I’m stuck in my office on a day where it’s 69 degrees and sunny) this is the most difficult time of the year for those of us who can only be weekend warriors due to prior commitments.
Last year around this time I took a look at a few different types of skydivers and how you can learn to embrace that to enjoy life to it’s fullest – after all, isn’t that what skydiving teaches us to do?
So, the question remains, how do you come to grips with being purely a weekend (or occasional) skydiver?
Suck it up, that’s how!
In all seriousness though, you have to make a conscious decision about how skydiving fits into your life. For some, they just can’t stand not having skydiving play a significant role in their lives, so they take risks, make adjustments, and find a way to make the sport a greater part of their lies. Others, like myself, have a such passion for what we do on a daily basis and, though we wish we could be out there on the nicest days of the year jumping with our friends, we know our other responsibilities help round out our life.
Of course, there are other variations of this – if you didn’t read my post from last April, be sure to do so, I don’t intend to repeat myself and bore y’all…clicky clicky.
Anywhoosits, the point here is this: make a decision about your life, when it comes to skydiving, career, family, and how all those pieces fit together, at embrace it. There’s nothing saying you can go down one path and make a change later on as your needs and preferences change, but there’s also no point in stewing over the fact that the other parts of your life are taking away from your passions (skydiver or not).
So, if you’re a weekend warrior like me, don’t waste your energy on envy when your fellow jumpers are out at the dropzone on a sunny Wednesday afternoon while you’re “stuck at the office” or wherever you are. Instead, dedicate yourself to your commitments, to your passions, and know that come Saturday morning, you can wake up to the smell of Jet A with a smile on your face, knowing that the weekend is yours to play amongst the clouds.
(Note: yep, that’s a bit of a pep talk for myself as well, even the preacher needs a friendly reminder every not and again.)
If you’re lucky enough to be heading out on a lovely weekend for your freefall fix, be sure to enjoy it a little bit more for the rest of us who are with you in spirit.
Blue Ones Kiddies!
Ashley