If 2011 was a year of learning and growth, then I predict 2012 to be a year of revival. Not only in the “I’m going to revive those parts of my life that have become stagnant for one reason or another” but also in the sense that bygones will really become bygones, giving way to new, incredible things.
For those who don’t know me that well in real life, I’m a rather sensitive type. When life takes me down a path I would prefer not to have travelled, I tend to hold on to feelings of loss for what could have been.
In the past year or two I came to understand that life doesn’t always go the way you plan, and it’s not because “bad things just happen,” it’s because changes need to occur in order for life to open bigger doors for new opportunities. You can’t have everything and everyone in your life, so sometimes, circumstances must change in order for your life to progress.
That said, I want to speak candidly for a second about what brought me to this blog post in the first place. This morning I woke from a very strange dream filled with people from my distant past. Naturally, as someone who spends 10+ hours in social media would do, I did some poking around Facebook to check in on the lives of some old high school pals who appeared in my out-of-the-blue dream.
Seeing how nearly a decade has changed people, where they’re living, and what they’re up to was fun! Until, I came across something that punched me in the gut. My former best friend of 20 years got married in September and I didn’t even know it. We became estranged a few years back over something incredibly petty. After not speaking for a couple months I called to apologize for the things I said during that argument, hoping to make what was wrong, right, but unfortunately I was too late. I held on to the dream that she would call me back, missing me in her life as much as I missed her, but that day never came.
One day I realized that, though we spent most of our childhood as neighbors and friends, it just wasn’t meant to be as adults – the world had something better planned for us both.
Though I’m not going to lie, she still has a place in my heart and has remained in the back of my head since that very day.
Problem is, I haven’t really forgiven her for leaving me. I needed that closure, for someone so close had suddenly left with no explanation. But if I was honest with myself, it wasn’t closure that I needed, I simply wasn’t ready to let go of that part of my life.
Looking back, my journey through early adulthood would have been much less of a struggle if I would have moved on and let in new people and new opportunities to fill the void that was left, but I just wasn’t ready to do that, I wanted my friend by my side.
Now, I am ready. Having seen her wedding photos today made me see that she’s happy, and put a smile on my face knowing that we are both happy, even if we don’t get to share in that together.
Of course, this is just one example of the type of revival I’m referring to. There have certainly been other losses and failures (many of which have been countered by gains and successes, as life naturally tends to do) in my life since that day, some of which still surfaces from time to time, with sorrowful feelings. Today, I’m leaving all that behind.
Living with sadness over a loss or hiding from a failure (whether personal or professional) is no way to live. At some point, time has to do it’s healing, but you have to be willing to let it. Believe it or not you hold the key to having a healthy life – letting go of the past to move forward is a positive first step toward solid mental health. Today, I’m putting my emotional boo boos in times hand and opening my life to the new opportunities that lie ahead. I can’t wait to see what’s next.
How do you see revival fitting into your life in 2012?
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
All so very true. We need to acknowledge our past, learn from it, but we can’t let it control us. Happiness truly is a choice – and part of the choice is to let go of things in the past that made us unhappy, and recognize that we are stronger because of it. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t find this easy either. And life has a way of reminding you of things now and then to help you figure out whether you’ve moved on or not.
For what it’s worth Ashley, I think this world is a better place because you’re in it.
Thanks, Doug. That means so much coming from someone who has been quite the inspiration himself. I’m glad we share insights with one another, both on the ground and in the sky – a connection I sure am glad the world found a way to make. Here’s to the good times, the struggles, and the new opportunities that will come from it all. Cheers my friend!
Beautifully said, Ashley. I certainly know I have some baggage to let go of.
What an inspiring read! I can relate to many things you also had to say here. Cheers to letting go of the past and to moving on to a new year!
Thanks Matt! I think most of us do, but we are only human. Blue skies friend!
Thanks Cathy! Here’s to moving forward to the amazing things life has to bring
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Thank u Ashley! I needed to hear that, I too, have lost friendships along the way to “adulthood” and have Not dealt w/ every situation, very elegantly…. I too need to let time heal wounds and Move on!!! Sometimes life in California seems pretty lonely… I can only hope to find a friend here, and will continue my search… I am totally thankful and happy w/ my family and home, I pray everyday to find peace…Thank u for your support and social media friendship, Thank u!! God Bless u !!!
Hi Marci! I’m glad this post rings true for you as well. It’s all a matter of growing, but what I’ve come to learn is that you have to let yourself grow out of those things that just don’t belong in your life, and sometimes those things are friendships. I have no doubt that your life in California will continue to be amazing, you’re a wonderful soul. So glad we’ve got social media to keep us connected!