Following your dreams

You have to follow your own dreams in life, not the dreams that others have for you. Denying yourself to appease others is simply a waste of a life, if you ask me.

Now, I’m not going to lie, those statements are bold, and truth be told, I’m writing this more as a reminder to myself than anyone else.

Of course, this does not mean that you should live your life with blatant disregard for others, nor does it mean that you shouldn’t go out of your way to help others – hell, I’m a big believer in helping others to make your life even more fulfilling (ahem, Jump for Diabetes)- but, to ignore your own desire and dreams to please others is a waste.

No matter what you believe, if there is or isn’t something bigger and better waiting for us on the other side, it’s important to live in the here and now, as if this is all we’ve got. And, making the most of life is about following your dreams, living your passions, knowing when to say no, following that gut feeling that, if you’re truly honest with yourself, is usually right. Sometimes, this means letting go of one thing to let in another.

Only you can make your dreams come true. Only you can look out for your best interests all the time. Only you hold the key to living the life you believe in, that life you envision for yourself.

I’ve come to find, in my life anyway, that sometimes fear gets in the way of your dreams – sometimes that fear is simply letting someone down, sometimes it’s bigger, like losing an important aspect of your life. But the truth is, you have to trust in your gut. This is something that, as skydivers, we know all too well.

Jumping out of an airplane goes against everything your body is telling you is right. Falling is not comfortable for the human brain. Think about it, how many times have you woke from a dream with a start because of a vision of falling? Can you even count? I can’t.

It’s not natural. But, those of us who choose this path know in our gut that it’s the right thing for us, even when our bodies shoot out all kinds of signals that tell us to stop, this isn’t safe, it’s not natural.

A leap of faith, some would say, knowing that our training, our skills and those around us who we choose to jump with will keep us safe.

So why then, are there moments where simply disappointing someone in our lives can be such a scary thought that we’re willing to put our own dreams, our own wants, on the back burner in order to appease those close to us? Why is it that some decisions seem so difficult even though, deep down, we know exactly what path we want to take?

Tell me I’m not alone in this – I can’t be the only person out there who struggles with the balance between following my own dreams, living out the dreams others have for me and helping to make the dreams of those in my life come true.

It’s baby steps, I guess, to making the right decisions. It may not always be exactly what I want, or exactly what those in my life want, but it’s got to be for the greater good. Following gut feelings may disappoint others from time to time, but isn’t not following them an even greater disappointment to yourself?

Love and blue skies!

Ashley

p.s. I think this song really captures some of these sentiments:

Revival

If 2011 was a year of learning and growth, then I predict 2012 to be a year of revival. Not only in the “I’m going to revive those parts of my life that have become stagnant for one reason or another” but also in the sense that bygones will really become bygones, giving way to new, incredible things.

For those who don’t know me that well in real life, I’m a rather sensitive type. When life takes me down a path I would prefer not to have travelled, I tend to hold on to feelings of loss for what could have been.

In the past year or two I came to understand that life doesn’t always go the way you plan, and it’s not because “bad things just happen,” it’s because changes need to occur in order for life to open bigger doors for new opportunities. You can’t have everything and everyone in your life, so sometimes, circumstances must change in order for your life to progress.

That said, I want to speak candidly for a second about what brought me to this blog post in the first place. This morning I woke from a very strange dream filled with people from my distant past. Naturally, as someone who spends 10+ hours in social media would do, I did some poking around Facebook to check in on the lives of some old high school pals who appeared in my out-of-the-blue dream.

Seeing how nearly a decade has changed people, where they’re living, and what they’re up to was fun! Until, I came across something that punched me in the gut. My former best friend of 20 years got married in September and I didn’t even know it. We became estranged a few years back over something incredibly petty. After not speaking for a couple months I called to apologize for the things I said during that argument, hoping to make what was wrong, right, but unfortunately I was too late. I held on to the dream that she would call me back, missing me in her life as much as I missed her, but that day never came.

One day I realized that, though we spent most of our childhood as neighbors and friends, it just wasn’t meant to be as adults – the world had something better planned for us both.

Though I’m not going to lie, she still has a place in my heart and has remained in the back of my head since that very day.

Problem is, I haven’t really forgiven her for leaving me. I needed that closure, for someone so close had suddenly left with no explanation. But if I was honest with myself, it wasn’t closure that I needed, I simply wasn’t ready to let go of that part of my life.

Looking back, my journey through early adulthood would have been much less of a struggle if I would have moved on and let in new people and new opportunities to fill the void that was left, but I just wasn’t ready to do that, I wanted my friend by my side.

Now, I am ready. Having seen her wedding photos today made me see that she’s happy, and put a smile on my face knowing that we are both happy, even if we don’t get to share in that together.

Of course, this is just one example of the type of revival I’m referring to. There have certainly been other losses and failures (many of which have been countered by gains and successes, as life naturally tends to do) in my life since that day, some of which still surfaces from time to time, with sorrowful feelings. Today, I’m leaving all that behind.

Living with sadness over a loss or hiding from a failure (whether personal or professional) is no way to live. At some point, time has to do it’s healing, but you have to be willing to let it. Believe it or not you hold the key to having a healthy life – letting go of the past to move forward is a positive first step toward solid mental health. Today, I’m putting my emotional boo boos in times hand and opening my life to the new opportunities that lie ahead. I can’t wait to see what’s next.

How do you see revival fitting into your life in 2012?

Love and blue skies!

Ashley

Kicking off a new year

Little reminders (to myself) for making this the best year yet.

Getting back into the swing of things after the holidays can be awkward. Either emails piled up at work or they didn’t – so much so that you’ve either got your hands full for days of catching up or you’re not really sure where to begin because there are no fires to put out.

Your usual gym routine is all thrown off because of the resolutioners who have flooded in and have taken over the machines with little regard for their fellow iron-pumper.

Now, there’s two ways to approach this transition of getting back into the swing of things. You can sulk that the time away is over and do just what is needed to get by until life gets itself back on track, or you can take the proverbial bull by the horns and make something of this new year.

Even though we are only on day two of 2012, I like to think this year is already off to a great start. Having the first couple days off to be productive at home definitely helps the transition, but here’s how I look at this. With a new year comes new opportunities – but positive effects from new opportunities can only come from the choices you make.

Think about it: how many big opportunities come your way simply sitting on the couch as you dread heading back to work? How much really gets accomplished by watching life lead itself?

Not many, if any, in my experience.

Life is short and precious, and for all we know, we only get one shot at this. So (cliche as it may be) why not live every day as if it’s your last, rather than watching others live theirs. Too much TV can make us lazy at life. Too much Facebook can make us lazy in our social world. But these are only scape goats. The truth is, we make the decision every day whether we are going to live our lives to their fullest. Take advantage of good health while you have it – you never know when it won’t be here anymore. Enjoy the time you spend with your friends and family. Make an effort to be a good person, every day. Keep a close eye on your own needs and wants – you’ll be thankful you followed your heart and your dreams rather than always doing the practical thing.

Live a life you believe in, the one you want to live – the only thing stopping you is yourself.

Live life, or it will go on without you.

Love and blue skies!

Ashley