Following your dreams
You have to follow your own dreams in life, not the dreams that others have for you. Denying yourself to appease others is simply a waste of a life, if you ask me.
Now, I’m not going to lie, those statements are bold, and truth be told, I’m writing this more as a reminder to myself than anyone else.
Of course, this does not mean that you should live your life with blatant disregard for others, nor does it mean that you shouldn’t go out of your way to help others – hell, I’m a big believer in helping others to make your life even more fulfilling (ahem, Jump for Diabetes)- but, to ignore your own desire and dreams to please others is a waste.
No matter what you believe, if there is or isn’t something bigger and better waiting for us on the other side, it’s important to live in the here and now, as if this is all we’ve got. And, making the most of life is about following your dreams, living your passions, knowing when to say no, following that gut feeling that, if you’re truly honest with yourself, is usually right. Sometimes, this means letting go of one thing to let in another.
Only you can make your dreams come true. Only you can look out for your best interests all the time. Only you hold the key to living the life you believe in, that life you envision for yourself.
I’ve come to find, in my life anyway, that sometimes fear gets in the way of your dreams – sometimes that fear is simply letting someone down, sometimes it’s bigger, like losing an important aspect of your life. But the truth is, you have to trust in your gut. This is something that, as skydivers, we know all too well.
Jumping out of an airplane goes against everything your body is telling you is right. Falling is not comfortable for the human brain. Think about it, how many times have you woke from a dream with a start because of a vision of falling? Can you even count? I can’t.
It’s not natural. But, those of us who choose this path know in our gut that it’s the right thing for us, even when our bodies shoot out all kinds of signals that tell us to stop, this isn’t safe, it’s not natural.
A leap of faith, some would say, knowing that our training, our skills and those around us who we choose to jump with will keep us safe.
So why then, are there moments where simply disappointing someone in our lives can be such a scary thought that we’re willing to put our own dreams, our own wants, on the back burner in order to appease those close to us? Why is it that some decisions seem so difficult even though, deep down, we know exactly what path we want to take?
Tell me I’m not alone in this – I can’t be the only person out there who struggles with the balance between following my own dreams, living out the dreams others have for me and helping to make the dreams of those in my life come true.
It’s baby steps, I guess, to making the right decisions. It may not always be exactly what I want, or exactly what those in my life want, but it’s got to be for the greater good. Following gut feelings may disappoint others from time to time, but isn’t not following them an even greater disappointment to yourself?
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
p.s. I think this song really captures some of these sentiments:
Revival
If 2011 was a year of learning and growth, then I predict 2012 to be a year of revival. Not only in the “I’m going to revive those parts of my life that have become stagnant for one reason or another” but also in the sense that bygones will really become bygones, giving way to new, incredible things.
For those who don’t know me that well in real life, I’m a rather sensitive type. When life takes me down a path I would prefer not to have travelled, I tend to hold on to feelings of loss for what could have been.
In the past year or two I came to understand that life doesn’t always go the way you plan, and it’s not because “bad things just happen,” it’s because changes need to occur in order for life to open bigger doors for new opportunities. You can’t have everything and everyone in your life, so sometimes, circumstances must change in order for your life to progress.
That said, I want to speak candidly for a second about what brought me to this blog post in the first place. This morning I woke from a very strange dream filled with people from my distant past. Naturally, as someone who spends 10+ hours in social media would do, I did some poking around Facebook to check in on the lives of some old high school pals who appeared in my out-of-the-blue dream.
Seeing how nearly a decade has changed people, where they’re living, and what they’re up to was fun! Until, I came across something that punched me in the gut. My former best friend of 20 years got married in September and I didn’t even know it. We became estranged a few years back over something incredibly petty. After not speaking for a couple months I called to apologize for the things I said during that argument, hoping to make what was wrong, right, but unfortunately I was too late. I held on to the dream that she would call me back, missing me in her life as much as I missed her, but that day never came.
One day I realized that, though we spent most of our childhood as neighbors and friends, it just wasn’t meant to be as adults – the world had something better planned for us both.
Though I’m not going to lie, she still has a place in my heart and has remained in the back of my head since that very day.
Problem is, I haven’t really forgiven her for leaving me. I needed that closure, for someone so close had suddenly left with no explanation. But if I was honest with myself, it wasn’t closure that I needed, I simply wasn’t ready to let go of that part of my life.
Looking back, my journey through early adulthood would have been much less of a struggle if I would have moved on and let in new people and new opportunities to fill the void that was left, but I just wasn’t ready to do that, I wanted my friend by my side.
Now, I am ready. Having seen her wedding photos today made me see that she’s happy, and put a smile on my face knowing that we are both happy, even if we don’t get to share in that together.
Of course, this is just one example of the type of revival I’m referring to. There have certainly been other losses and failures (many of which have been countered by gains and successes, as life naturally tends to do) in my life since that day, some of which still surfaces from time to time, with sorrowful feelings. Today, I’m leaving all that behind.
Living with sadness over a loss or hiding from a failure (whether personal or professional) is no way to live. At some point, time has to do it’s healing, but you have to be willing to let it. Believe it or not you hold the key to having a healthy life – letting go of the past to move forward is a positive first step toward solid mental health. Today, I’m putting my emotional boo boos in times hand and opening my life to the new opportunities that lie ahead. I can’t wait to see what’s next.
How do you see revival fitting into your life in 2012?
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
Kicking off a new year
Little reminders (to myself) for making this the best year yet.
Getting back into the swing of things after the holidays can be awkward. Either emails piled up at work or they didn’t – so much so that you’ve either got your hands full for days of catching up or you’re not really sure where to begin because there are no fires to put out.
Your usual gym routine is all thrown off because of the resolutioners who have flooded in and have taken over the machines with little regard for their fellow iron-pumper.
Now, there’s two ways to approach this transition of getting back into the swing of things. You can sulk that the time away is over and do just what is needed to get by until life gets itself back on track, or you can take the proverbial bull by the horns and make something of this new year.
Even though we are only on day two of 2012, I like to think this year is already off to a great start. Having the first couple days off to be productive at home definitely helps the transition, but here’s how I look at this. With a new year comes new opportunities – but positive effects from new opportunities can only come from the choices you make.
Think about it: how many big opportunities come your way simply sitting on the couch as you dread heading back to work? How much really gets accomplished by watching life lead itself?
Not many, if any, in my experience.
Life is short and precious, and for all we know, we only get one shot at this. So (cliche as it may be) why not live every day as if it’s your last, rather than watching others live theirs. Too much TV can make us lazy at life. Too much Facebook can make us lazy in our social world. But these are only scape goats. The truth is, we make the decision every day whether we are going to live our lives to their fullest. Take advantage of good health while you have it – you never know when it won’t be here anymore. Enjoy the time you spend with your friends and family. Make an effort to be a good person, every day. Keep a close eye on your own needs and wants – you’ll be thankful you followed your heart and your dreams rather than always doing the practical thing.
Live a life you believe in, the one you want to live – the only thing stopping you is yourself.
Live life, or it will go on without you.
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
Reflecting and resolving – part 2
In an effort to keep my posts quick and easy to read, I broke up this posts into two part. Part 1 was posted yesterday, and I discussed 2011, took a look at the goals I set at the beginning of the year and where I netted out.
This year, my goals are a little more concrete – either they’ll be successes or failures. But, like this year, I have no doubt that regardless of the outcome, I’ll walk away with plenty of knowledge to reflect upon.
Let’s get onto these resolutions!
Pay off all credit card debt. This is number one on my list for a reason. I finally feel like I’m at a comfortable place to do this, and start building a savings, both for emergencies and to have enough for a down payment on a house. Hello adulthood!
Earn SCUBA certification. This is something that hubs and I have been wanting to do for quite some time. I’m pretty sure this came up within the first few weeks of us dating, as something we both want to accomplish in the near future.
Add to and continue selling prints on my Etsy shop. I’m proud to say that I launched my Etsy shop during the holidays and you can now purchase prints, matted and framed or on canvas right here. This year I intend to make great progress with my photography and editing skills so I can keep my shop fresh.
Recommit to yoga and meditation. Health and fitness has always been important to me, but in the recent past I’ve been slipping. I’ve begun a running routine that I plan to stick with, but on my off days, I’m planning to get back into yoga. It just makes me happier. It also helps that my amazing husband bought me yoga paws as a stocking stuffer this year, so I have no excuse, even when I’m on the road.
Teach my dog how to run with me. This is the main reason that I started running again. I’d like to be able to take the dog out a few times a week after work and run her. I tried when we first got her, but now that she’s more obedient I definitely want to get this routine started – it’ll be good for her and me.
Get some tunnel time. This one speaks for itself. I normally don’t like to put goals around my skydiving, as it’s my leisure activity, but a I consider “tunnel time” to be a bit vague. It’s about time I sync up with a coach and get on my head.
Volunteer. Yes, I already coordinate Jump for Diabetes at Skydive Chicago each year (p.s., if you haven’t heard it’s on 4th of July weekend this year), but I want to do more. I’ve always had the desire to help out at a food bank or serve dinner at a soup kitchen during the holidays. Ideally, I’d like to commit to 1 act of volunteerism a month. I think I’m up to that challenge!
So those are my 7 resolutions for the year. Next year at this time, hopefully I can paste this list into a new blog post with success written after each.
What are your goals, commitments and resolutions for 2012?
Cheers!
Ashley
Reflecting and resolving
The week between Christmas and New Year’s always seems a bit like limbo – the family holidays have ended, yet the new year hasn’t quite begun yet. I find that, for myself anyway, this week tends to be a time of reflection and goal setting.
I’m not one of those people who, year after year, resolves to do the same things (like lose weight, eat better, quit smoking/drinking, etc) and gets fed up 1 month in and puts that goal off for another year. I like to use the learnings from the past year to formulate my goals, that may be accomplished in 2012, but may also be longer-term goals that’ll stick with me a while.
That said, I’d like to take a look at my resolutions from last year and see how I did.
_____________
Be Honest: with myself and those around me. Make it known what I want, then work out a compromise if it doesn’t match others that are involved.
Success! Though, I do have to admit that I still struggle with this one. I’m a giver, I like to make sure others are happy, but I’ve taken great strides in making sure I’m happy too.
Write more.
Success! Well, mostly. I took some time off from this here blog to get my head around where I wanted my writing to go, and I think that time off provided great insight that was needed to continue my writing in a positive way.
Make yoga and meditation a priority.
Fail. My year started out rough, like really rough, and I lost sight of this part of taking care of myself. It was enough of a struggle to get myself to eat sometimes, let alone take the time to meditate about life. So, we’ll try again this year.
Photography: be better about capturing memories on photo.
Fail. I don’t have any good reason for this. But, I did just open my Etsy shop here: http://photohut.etsy.com. So hopefully that’ll jumpstart my drive to keep up with my photography.
Relax.
Fail, then success. Until about May I was wound tighter than I’ve ever been, but after starting a new gig and planning my incredible wedding, I learned to not worry so much. Those who know me in person would be incredibly impressed with how relaxed I was as a bride – and in turn, the day was perfect!
Wear more jewelry.
Success. Kinda. Aside from my engagement ring and wedding band, I typically wear my closing pin along with an om symbol pendant around my neck, the occasional right hand ring, and always my diamond studs (a gift from my parents that I rarely remove). What can I say, I think I’m just a basic kinda girl.
_______________
Looking back on this year, it was a HUGE time of growth for me. It was the first year of marriage that was celebrated by our wonderful wedding with friends and family just outside of Chicago. I adopted a dog who taught me just what unconditional love is. I’ve learned what kind of person I truly am, and am still in the process of learning how to share that with others.
More than anything I learned that the human spirit can overcome great obstacles. It was a rough year for my family, having lost a number of wonderful souls who will forever impact the way I live my life.
As 2011 comes to a close, I find myself walking toward 2012 with much hope, a positive attitude and a smile on my face. It’s going to be a great year!
So what about the resolutions, you might ask? Well, you’ll just have to swing by tomorrow for part 2, where I’ll outline my goals (thanks to all I’ve learned this past year) for 2012.
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
Holiday Wishes
Holy crap, it’s already 4 days before Christmas. Where on Earth did this year go?!
The holidays are always a funny time of year. Some people cherish the time they get to spend with friends and family, others dread it. I’m lucky to say that I fall in the former category.
Since college I’ve always lived hours from my family, who, for the most part, all reside within an hour of each other in the mitten (Michigan, for those of you who are geographically challenged) – weather by car or plane, I’ve been a solid 4 hours away.
The holidays for me has always reflected the ability to head home and spend some QT with the fam. There’s not enough time spent together for burnout. Arguments over the holidays are rare with my family, though most of us tend to let a lot roll off our shoulders, so that helps.
But what am I saying, this isn’t about me.
I want to talk about holiday wishes. Everyone has things they wish for during the holidays, weather it’s the latest, greatest TV on the market to appear under the Christmas tree, getting the chance to kiss that someone special under the mistle toe, or simply that the holidays will be happy and stress-free, everyone has hopes of what this time with family will bring.
For me, aside from wanting a peaceful, wonderful experience with my family and my in-laws (as I wish the same for each and every one of you), my biggest wish is that the JDRF will receive more funding than they’ve ever seen this holiday season.
As most of you know, diabetes research is close to my heart. Jump for Diabetes was founded to help find a cure for this disease that touches just about everyone, in one way, shape, or form, and I want nothing more than to see the JDRF succeed!
This year, I’m asking friends and family, rather than giving presents that may or may not get used, to donate to the JDRF and help find a cure for diabetes. Every little bit helps, and I know most are strapped during the holidays, but giving doesn’t have to just happen now. Any time of the year, a few extra dollars can really help take research to the next level.
So, if you’re feeling extra generous head on over to http://jdrfillinois.org and click that Donate button. In the special instruction, be sure to mention Jump for Diabetes so we can keep a running tally of how much this wonderful community has supported the cause.
Wishing you and yours a very, merry holiday season.
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
My life as a television show
Do you ever feel like you’re watching your life unfold as if it’s a television show?
That’s how my life feels right now.
And I don’t like it. Not. One. Bit.
Not so much because of what’s happening, though I could do without a few of these situations, honestly, but more that I feel so out of control. Let’s be honest, I’m about as type A as they come. I’m not one to sit around and let my life fall into whatever place it’s going to fall. I prefer to be at the drivers seat – to know I at least have some sense of control over my destiny.
Right now, control seems to have slipped from my grasp. And it’s terrifying. I wish I were skydiving…that’s much less terrifying of a ride.
I want nothing more than to gain even the tiniest bit of control back – give me a wheel to turn, a button to push to make it all go away, or at least a break so I can slow this train down for a minute.
Yes, I’m fully aware that this is sometimes how life unfolds, there’s just enough surprise to keep you on your toes and let you know that you’re not always in control, but this feeling of being outside my own life, looking in, isn’t flying with me.
The surprising thing is, even though this blog post, after re-reading it sounds a bit alarming, I’m actually handling it pretty well. Normally, I’d be a basket case, with constant worry over what’s happening, what’s not, what’s going to happen next, how to deal with it, etc. But the truth is, I’m not really worried.
Maybe it’s because I’ve spent countless hours worrying and it doesn’t do any good. Maybe I finally learned that lesson? Doubtful. I think a lot of it has to do with my marriage, dumb as it sounds. I have never been this happy in my entire life, and having someone to share your life with, also means having someone with whom to share the burdens of life. He’s keeping me sane, keeping me grounded, supporting every decision I need to make along the way. As a single person I used to scoff at my married friends who would say “I just don’t know what I would do without him,” but now that I’m here, I truly don’t know what I would do without him.
Looking at our wedding photos is something I’m really enjoying lately. Not sure if it has anything to do with the craziness going on around me, but it’s comforting and, I gotta say, we look damn good in them. Check ‘em out for yourself here.
Aside from that, I’m doing everything in my power to keep my hands firmly grasped on my career. Lack of control will not be an issue here, if I have anything to say about it.
So tell me, am I alone here? Has anyone else ever felt like they were watching their life on TV?
Blue ones!
Ashley
Bucket List
This is such a cliche blog topic it almost makes me want to vomit just thinking about it. But, here I am, writing about it again anyway.
See here’s the thing, everyone goes through these periods where they become acutely aware of their own mortality – as skydivers, this has a tendency to creep up on us from time to time.
I’ve written pseudo bucket lists before – participated in blogger challenges like the “30 before 30″ list and all the jazz – but to me, those things are a bit self-centered (yes, I realize that, at it’s core, blogging is pretty self-centered, but bear with me here if you could).
This time of the year I have a tendency to get pretty reflective – to look back at the year, what I’ve accomplished vs. what I set out to do. I’m not one for “new year’s resolutions,” but I do like to set goals for myself just to keep me going. At the beginning of the year, I’m not going to lie, I was struggling with a lot. My heart and soul was focused on fixing what was wrong inside me and in the environment surrounding me, and I have to admit, as the end of 2011 is bearing down, I came out on top. Take that 2011.
Along with the changes, the accomplishments and the overall happiness that surrounds my world, December has brought on reflections not of myself, but of others in need.
As you’re all very aware, one of the things I pride myself on is the yearly Jump for Diabetes event that helps raise funds for the Juvenile Diabetes Research foundation and support diabetes research. It’s a cause close to my heart, and given that my husband is the founder of this wonderful event, it makes me even prouder that our little family is able to do something to give back every year.
(Small plug here, but if you want to continue to support our cause, you can do so throughout the year at http://jdrfillinois.org and when you click Donate Now, enter Jump for Diabetes in the special instructions. Help us get to our goal and find a cure for diabetes!)
With that, I’ve realized that a true bucket list is about more than what you want to accomplish, the places you want to visit and things you want to purchase by a set date, it’s about how you want to live your life and the ways you want to leave your mark on the world before you pass on.
I’m a firm believer that bucket lists are not set in stone, rather, they’re living, breathing documents that allow us to focus our energies on those things we want to accomplish in our lives. If thought through properly, a bucket list can set the tone for your adult life, provide a foundation for where you want to go, and give you motivation to achieve those goals. It’s not simply a list of to-dos, but a guide for who you want to become.
So below, in no particular order (hence, this list is not numbered) are a few of those things I see as bucket list material. Maybe one day I’ll sit down and draft my bucket list in full and post it here for all to see – but then, it’s seems rather “finalized,” and I like the idea of always being able to alter your path as changes occur in your life. For now, you get to see a few of my goals for living a positive, enjoyable life I can be proud to call mine.
Personally impact one person’s life in a positive way.
Give back in ways that life has provided for me (through mentorship, career and skydiving support, etc)
Spend one holiday season volunteering.
Travel.
Establish a not-for-profit and spread the word (this one, though accomplished, will be ongoing throughout my life).
Appreciate. (My husband, my extended family, my career, my health, my friends – appreciate all the good life has to offer, even when times are tough)
Commit to health and fitness with green smoothies, limited processed foods, regular workouts, etc.
Give animals in need a home: always adopt from rescue organizations and foster homes.
Don’t miss out on great opportunities because of obligation. Carpe diem – live life to it’s fullest.
Spend every day as if it might be the last – with friends, family and love in my heart.
I have to be honest, I really wanted to put something on this list about living out my wedding vows, and loving my husband. But truth be told, I don’t need to put that on a list, it’s something that comes completely natural to me. Appreciate… even when times are tough, seemed more appropriate, as I, like many people, struggle with focusing on the bad, even when so many things are good and right in my life.
What are some things you’d put on your bucket list? They can be specific or broad, but how do you want to live your life? How do you see your future playing out?
Love and blue skies!
Ashley
No Spending January
With the holiday season closing in and my ever-growing desire to take that once-in-a-lifetime tropical honeymoon I keep talking about, finances are very much at the forefront of my mind.
But let’s be honest here, I’ve never been very good at saving. Okay, so maybe not NEVER, but at least not since skydiving came into my life – that shit’s not cheap.
Hubs and I have some major goals in the next couple of years that’s going to take a bit of restraint when it comes to spending as well. So I figure after our honeymoon it’s going to be time to hunker down and stash away all we can to make these goals a reality (it’s true, I really do want to be a home owner by age 30), and with a bit of planning, diligence, and self-control, I believe it’s all completely possible.
So with that, I’m vowing to start small with what I’m calling No Spending January. The main motivator here is that, by cutting back at the first of the year we can save enough to go on that tropical vacation and have enough left over to be comfortable (rather than charge it all and come back with debt up to our eyeballs). Secondarily, however, is the idea that if I can spend money on only what is needed for survival, then I certainly can keep that up for the long haul. And what a better month to choose than January in Chicago when dropzones are closed and everyone is recovering from the holidays.
I’m one part nervous, two parts excited about this challenge. I’m nervous because what if something comes up that forces us to spend money, unforseen circumstances that totally derail this operation? Of course, you can’t let the what-ifs get in the way of the positives, because those always exist. On the other side of the coin, I’m excited to reel in my spending (read: eating out, random trips to 7-11 for soda cravings, a pair of boots I just gotta have…) and gain back some of that spending self-control I had in college, and I know that at the end of the month it’ll feel so great to meet that goal with a little extra in my pocket.
Now, I may have to put up some temporary firewalls so I’m not tempted to head over to Amazon or other online shopping sites that tend to grab my attention during my 10 hours a day behind the computer, but I have every confidence that this will not only be a beneficial exercise, but one that shows me just how much restraint I can have – even when the shiny objects are sucking me in.
Anyone done anything similar? Advice for the online shop-aholic? Mint.com, be prepared to be amazed by the January trends.
Blue ones!
-Ashley
The Daily 6
Recently a blogger buddy of mine posted a recap of her November goals and where she netted out. At the top of the post was a mention of the daily 6 as a cleaning method.
After our recent move it’s started feeling like cleaning is non-stop and sometimes a bit overwhelming – of course I couldn’t figure out why. I love this idea of the daily 6: make beds right away, keep your kitchen sink empty, do a load of laundry most days, clean up after yourself, bathroom wipe-down, before bed 10-minute clean up.
I did a quick Google search on this and didn’t come up with much that was relevant. I have a feeling this is something Ashley or someone she knows invented, but regardless I like it!
Aside from making beds, because, well, we don’t, the rest of this sounds like such a great idea. Back when I had laundry in my apartment, I didn’t use it daily, and rarely weekly. The laundry piled up – it was a bit ridiculous, in hindsight. Looking at it now, if I had a washing machine in my unit I see no reason why doing one load, before or after work, every day, would be an issue.
Regardless, cleaning is something that no one likes to do, but this idea of the daily 6 (which, can be customized to fit your needs, I suppose) can really help make these chores less daunting.
Taking a look at my life as it is now, here are my daily 6 – hopefully I can stick to them!
1. Clean bathroom daily.
2. Sweep floor in one room every day.
3. Don’t go to bed with any clothes on the floor or stacked on furniture.
4. Do dishes after each meal.
5. Spend 10 minutes cleaning before bed (I’m keeping this one)
6. Put things back where they belong after using them.
If you could create a list of the top 6 things to do every day to ensure your life and/or house are clean and clutter free, what would they be?
Blue skies!
Ashley
Yes, after finishing this post I fully realize this is 100% about cleaning and highly uninteresting but sometimes that’s just the way it is.